HOLY SHIT

well its official, like really really official.

My car now belongs to someone else. It's paid for, I've cancled my insurance and today a nice vegan named Jason drove it away.

Thank you sweet car for being so good to me.

I will miss you.

Sweet land of Vespas.... here I come.

IT'S BEEN A WHILE

since I've blogged. I've been kinda nuts. Something about America that keeps me so fucking busy.

I sold my car, I sublet my apartment (furnished) starting Jan 1st for 5 months. I got rid of 90% of my clothes, I've been selling cds, I sold my art dept kit... I turned 29, and organized a fundraiser at the Santa Monica Museum of Art. And Alejandro came to the states to which I've been playing serious hostess. All in all it’s been a big few weeks.

Having Alejandro here has been really fun, hard but fun. We have fought a few times... (this is where the Sound of Music song "getting to know you" comes in....) I am so out of practice of being a girlfriend its ridiculous... but we are stumbling our way through.

It has been SO much fun to rediscover Los Angeles. I made a list of the things I haven't done while I've lived here for the past 8 years and I have been starting to do them all. What fun. I went to the opera, and I snuck him onto the Universal lot, and gave him the Chase Carter tour, and we took a double Decker bus ride thru Hollywood (so much fun) and god knows how long it had been since I stood in front of the Chinese Mann and put my hands in the cement... we drove up the coast, we are going to LACMA today, and to a clipper game tomorrow.

It's been kinda jam packed but a lot of fun. And I am remembering how much fun I've had living in this town for the last 8 years.


I have been so looking forward to leaving and moving on I haven't even really stopped to think about all the shit I am leaving behind. Which is mostly just friends. But damn- it's hard to believe this chapter of my life is closing. I have the most amazing friends, and they are such a good support system, and such wonderful, kind, fun, like-minded people.

My brother and nikky threw me a birthday party last Sunday after noon. Very easy- just about 15- 20 people, pizza beer, that’s it. No big deal.

And do you know what those mother fuckers did for me? They all pitched in and raised over $1000 for me to buy a vespa when I get to Italy. Can you fucking believe that? Do you have any idea what it is like to look at $1000 in 20's, 10's, 5's and ones?

It was awesome. Anyway, they also wrote these notes to me about riding off into the sunset, and going to miss me and all of that kind of stuff, an it made me cry. For the first time since I decided to go, I realized that I am going to leave my people. My family, my peeps. I live and die by these people. How am I going to survive without them? I mean Jesus! The thought is almost unbearable.

There are so many of us in LA- anytime I ant to have just my closest friends it’s still like 20 people. Because that’s how big it is out here. and we've all known each other all out lives... and I am leaving that.

Because I have to , it really isn’t a choice. it's just sad. and hard, and scary.

But totally totally right.

ELEVEN THINGS I AM EMBARRESED ABOUT

I weighed myself for the first time in a long time today. I’ve officially hit 170. Brutal.

I just ate chocolate.

I’m addicted to 6 different TV shows. Ugly.

I am scared to move to Italy.

I am at this point right now where I know what needs to be done. And yet I am terrified. 3 months ago I would have been my usual paralyzed self. But right now I know there is action to be taken... and I am still scared. It’s so hard. It’s so big. In theory it’s so easy. Sell the car, rent the apt, sell my shit, pack the rest…. But yikes, I mean seriously. What am I doing? Am I serious? I know I don’t belong here any longer, but do I really belong there? A month ago I was positive I did- but now… what if I don’t? The thought is paralyzing… I am freaking out- and I don’t know who to tell, or even how to deal with it myself. When I came home everyone was so supportive as to me leaving- taking a risk – going for it. But I’m scared. It’s hard. It’s so much harder to do than to say.

Alejandro is coming here in19 days- and I am tripping. How will he like it? Will he be comfortable? Will I totally have to chaperone him? All these thoughts? How do I deal with them- where do I put them?

I met Alejandro when I was in fantasy land- and now I am in reality- and the thought of introducing him into my reality is really… Scary. More than that it’s terrifying. It’s almost paralyzing. I am trying to DO every Day. DO SOMETHING that furthers me along the path of leaving. I can’t tell you how intense the viewfinder of leaving has on this place. I am able to see this land- this LA- LA land so much clearer from the “I am almost out of here” view…. Its nuts.

I hate LA. I feel like I have lost. Like when I came here I thought I would win… but now somehow I think it’s defeated me. I am humbled so much by that thought. It almost keeps me up at night.

I can’t wait to leave my family. I want to be away from them. I am scared I will never want to come home. I am more afraid I might learn to miss them. What if I do decide to come home? I’ve never stuck my tail between my legs before… I’ve also never stuck my neck out this far.

I am nervous about Alejandro coming here. I want to do things my way- declare my own life. But I also want to accommodate home. I feel torn. I feel scared.

Number eleven:

I thought going to Italy would help me have it all figured out. And for a while I did. But now, being back I am starting to question everything. And that makes me feel very, very strange. I guess I just need to go again. Because it is only away from all of this that I can feel right. Cuz I definite y don’t feel right here in LA.

OVERLOAD

I think what I will miss most about living in America is the fun of multi tasking at once. And by that I mean this.

It’s Sunday night and I am sitting at home alone watching TV, reading Vanity Fair, downloading music, smoking cigarettes and writing emails ALL AT THE SAME TIME.

I’m not sure Italy goes this fast. I don’t think it’s prepared for this kind of speed.

That’s ok though. Sometimes it’s cool to slow down.

SEXPERT

I’m not really the kind of person that works for free. I don’t volunteer or offer my time. I’m more of a “can I write you a check?” kinda gal. I like to donate- just not usually my time.

SO when I volunteered to work the merchandise table at a Martin Sexton (martinsexton.com) concert the other night I was pretty surprised with myself.

And even more surprising was that I had a fucking blast.

For one thing- I’m a huge Marty fan- I’ve seen about 10 of his shows and it’s always a pretty amazing experience. Marty is a singer songwriter type who has the MOST AMAZING voice- and a range that boarders on insane. Every time I have ever been to one of his shows I have always been nestled deep in the crowd quietly singing along and letting him rock my world.

Not this time. This time I was that girl behind the table during the entire show with a view of the stage a beer in my hand talking to people, selling shirts, cds, stickers and answering questions. I was sort of shocked how much I knew about his career and all his music… I had no idea I was such a Martin Sexton head.

But as the night wore on and people asked more and more specific questions about the tour, about what album is that song on- which bootleg is the best… I totally had all the answers, and when I didn’t I just sort of made it up- and because I was behind the merch table- and people believed me… It was hilarious.

Anyway at some point his manager came up and said- get out in the crowd- take a break. So I walked out during halleluiah and it was so bizarre… because once I was in the crowd I thought to myself “oh yea, I’ve done this before- I love this show…” it was really odd to be there- but having such a different experience.

It was as if, I was at his show, but not. But some how more. It was a great night.

Any way, I don't know that I will start voluteering for the fire department senior dance anytime soon. But it was pretty cool to do something nice for marty.

CATCHING UP

I didn’t really watch TV when I was in Europe. I mean, maybe from time to time in I saw some terrible variety show in Italian, or some shit in a hotel room or in a bar.

But today, in my hung over state I watched TV and movies, and ate Mexican and sat on my couch ALL DAY.

It was delicious. Today is my only day off this week- and I was hung over from Mimi’s Birthday party last night- and I just kinda needed to veg out.

Oh and I did. It was spectacular. I caught up on weeks and weeks of tivo. Saw season finales, season premieres… old sex in the city. I basically fit a month of TV into one day.

But now it’s 11:30pm and I’m going to bed. Because I have to go to work tomorrow. And I am suddenly back at work in the middle of a huge hard job- making money so I can leave.

Oh yes- and pretty big news- it’s official Alejandro is coming to the LA for his first ever American visit. He will be here for 10 days in November, for my birthday and thanksgiving.

It’s pretty fucking sweet.

It’s kinda like watching TV all day.

Only better.

OH YEA

I remember this life.

I remember getting up at 6 am for work, and having dinner with Mimi and Santiago, and dinner at my parent’s house, and sitting at my computer fucking around at work. I remember paying bills and balancing my checkbook. It wasn't THAT long ago that I cleaned the fucking shit out of my apartment (with my cleaning lady's help of course)- and went to Whole Foods and stocked up.... I remember what a burrito tastes like.

It seems so simple and easy to put the top down and drive around in this gorgeous weather and go thru the motions of my life here. I've been doing it for 8 years- of course I can. I remember why I've stayed here for so long- that house, my friends this weather... good god- it's easy here. And nice.

But sort of numbing too. It's strange to be back- here in my vacuous numb existence that is my life in LA. It's safe and warm and totally familiar. And I am instantaneously back.

Except this time- I have a trick up my sleeve and a love in my heart. And that makes me different. And strong. And defiantly NOT numb.

My time here is temporary- and that makes everything great. I have a lot to do, and I am working- and my mother and father are making it so easy for me to make this move- Letting me do whatever I need with my apartment-and totally being supportive. I didn’t realize how important that was to me- it’s making the transition easy...

And you know all signs point to this decision being right and good and healthy and ACTUALLY GOING TO HAPPEN.

And Alejandro has decided to come out for my birthday and thanksgiving. Which is totally awesome- because it relieves some of the pressure to GET OUT OF HERE... now I feel like I can take my time and do it right- and well- I get to see ali.

So....

So I am at work (working hard as you can see)... and I don't know. I had Italian for lunch.

3p today. I was at my desk working, kinda different than the past 7 weeks- but what are you gonna do- things change.

PACK WITH CARE

And so, after almost 7 weeks I travel back to Los Angeles this morning. I have been to 2 continents, 4 countries… and used exactly 56 different toilets.

I have packed and repacked the same 2 suitcases so many times over the past seven weeks- finding different arrangements for the same things.. each time I took such care thinking- what do I need on the next leg- how do I pack most effeciantly.. how can I do this so when I get there I don’t even have to open this bag… all this thought as to how to make it easier.

But this morning-

Fuck it. I just rammed shit everywhere- it was so satisfying. I didn’t fold, I didn’t plan- I just crammed it in- dirty socks and clean underware in the same section- (the horror!!) My carry on is the most mish moshed group of unessasry shit. But who fucking cares… soon I’ll be at home and I can turn the suitcases upside down on my living room floor and spill it all out if I want to.

Terrificly I am going to be in MY OWN SPACE tonight. And it always feels good to go home. Especially this home. I love my apartment so much. It’s really the greatest place I’ve ever lived…it’s the reason I haven’t moved for the past few years- this house- this home where my cats are so comftorable- and so am I….. I can’t believe I am giving it up. It makes me a little sad- the thought of leaving a house that I have put so much work into. It’s perfect really- I never need to leave this apartment.

Except that I do. Because it’s in the wrong city. And sometimes you have to go after something different than the comforts of home.

So today I don’t think about leaving- only returning. Because from time to time, all of us need to go home.

UP AND DOWN

At first I was so happy to be back- telling stories, sharing pictures... talking about Alejandro.

But then I had my first Friday night/ sat morning alone. And all the sad, depressed loneliness that has been so prevalent in my life in the past few years in America came back to me in a flash.

You see, when you want your life to change, you want it to change RIGHT AWAY. And I am in NYC for a few more days and I really can’t do anything here to get my life packed up and move onto Rome until I get back to LA. So last night and this morning I felt this overwhelming feeling of limbo, and boredom and missing Rome and Alejandro so much I thought I might break. Tears and anger. Why am I here? What was the point of coming to NYC, I just want to go home, sell my car, pack my house and get the fuck out of here. God I'm so sick of the states.

So I got up and thought “I have to get out of the house”. I took a shower, got dressed, put make up on and blow dried my hair- I was ready for a day in NYC. But then I had no one to meet, and didn't feel like going out to that dirty stinky city. So instead I sat down and cried my make up off.

What a girl.

Right in the middle of it Alejandro called. It's like he must have known. It made me feel so much better to know that he is sitting in Italy feeling the same way waiting for me to get back to him.

But what the real savior if the day was, was going to lunch with Megan. She's so rad and she just listened to me vent, and vented right back. At after a few hours I feel so much better. I feel restored, ready to take it all on again.

Sometimes, no matter how tough it gets, all you need is love to call in and an old friend to listen to.

I'm a lucky girl. Even if I it forget sometimes.

THE LADIES THE LADIES

It is such an amazing thing to have good women in your life. Especially when you've just fallen in love and all you want to do is gush about your boyfriend and look at pictures and watch video tape... and have them tell you how cute he is, and how sweet he seems and oh my god he's such a babe, and your so lucky and "tell me more tell me more"

I felt like I was in grease. You know, summer lovin, had me a blast.

I think I needed to tell them all about it to somehow validate it- make it real. Before then it was still all mine- just in my head- now it's out there- shared. Real.

And they were so good- oohing and ahhing at all the right times- listening to my every story so intently- the way only a group of your closest girls can.

Last night we were exactly the kind of scene all men wonder about when they ask "what do you girls talk about when you get together on ladies night?" Last night we were they...in FULL force.

It was exactly what I needed.

I have spoken a few times to my man- and it's tough. Long distance is a bitch and it's been years since I've done this. It's also been years since I cared enought to try... Talking on the phone sucks- and when calling italy it's also- EXPENSIVE. but fuck it right?

I do have to say that I LOVE text messages. I can totally send him notes all day and it's cheap.

This is gonna suck I can already tell. But I'mma do it.

Cuz love is worth it.

(oh my god someone shoot me I sound like I'm in some terrible romantic comedy with jessica alba or mandy moore or something...gag).

Anyway- I love my ladies and I want to say thank you to them for letting me fall into them.... love my girls. LOV-ING-AHH.

PICTURES

it you want to view some pics... this is where you can find them

http://www.flickr.com/photos/16677352@N00/

BACK IN THE BIG APPLE

So all good things must have a bookend...or at least this good thing does.

I am alive and well in NYC, I made it here fine. Took some uber drugs (thank you Vicki) and slept thru the entire flight.

Arrived into the arms of Miss Emily Henry and am about to go to sleep after being awake for what seems to be 25 hours. It is 6 am my time and I am exausted.

Will write more when I'm not so fucking tired.

Good god.

Right now I just miss Rome and I really miss Alejandro.

AHHHHHH.

ALL ROADS LEAD TO ROME

So as it turns out it’s true.

While I was driving around in some of the neighboring villages of Rome I got a little lost- and I found myself on some strange road going in a direction which I was sure was AWAY from Rome… and lo and behold- the road took a turn and there it was – the sign.

Rome. This way.

So I took it. Cuz rome was the way I was going.

Tomorrow morning I will take the road away from Rome- but not for long. I will come back. A little later today I will go to the trevi fountain where I will toss an American quarter over my right shoulder to insure my return

It seems that all my life my roads have lead me to Rome.

Thank god. Today I feel really really happy. I was sad yesterday- but today I feel great. I am so grateful to have had this experience and to have been able to so totally open myself up and receive it. I would say this is the best time of my life…but that just feels so cliché. And quite frankly- I think I can do better. I feel for the first time in a long long while that the best is still yet to come.

I want to thank you all for reading my stories- and I will see you in the states.

Con Amor

Chase.

THE SADNESS SETS IN

Started crying this morning. Shit. Have no idea if I’ll ever be able to stop. All I want in the world is to come back here. I figure it’s at least 3 months… wait for the holidays- and then 2005 brings me back.

I have a huge list of things to do today- go back to the coliseum, buy that bag, get food and wine and coffee to bring home….. buy the apartment and vespa magazines, get a picture by the pyramid… and try not to cry.

Thank god so many of my girls will be in NYC to greet me with open arms. I am going to seriously need some support when I get home. Thank god for them.

So I am trying to keep my shit together so I can still be HERE for my last 2 days.

Anyway.

On a different note- I have been eating out so much lately and I haven’t really reported about it in a while- but the food is so amazing. Lamb chops, pasta with carbonara, and homemade ravioli, meet filled tortellini, tiramisu, gelato, oh my god the FUCKING WINE, and espressos, and crème caramel, and steak, and DID I SAY RED WINE, grappa is evil…, and mozzarella and fucking hell the pizza… oh god spinach, veal (yes veal, Mimi and santi can be proud)…it’s all just so good.

I had the pleasure of being pre menstrual last week and as a result went thru one of those- “I could eat and never stop” days. And so I just let myself. I had 5 meals that day. It was SO AWESOME. I didn’t really eat for about a day and a half after- but that one day I had panini, pizza, pasta, steak in red wine sauce, more pasta and then another slice of pizza. Rome is definitely the best place in the world to binge eat. Bulimics unite- I have found your Mecca.

Anyway. I am off. My last blog from Rome will be tomorrow.

See you all soon. Don’t panic if I’m different. Don’t panic if I’m not.

That’s actually a note to myself. Don’t panic. It’s just America. Don’t panic Chase. Don’t panic.

UNTITLED

Wow- went on a long drive yesterday to Tivoli and to all the neighboring villages- it was so breathtakingly beautiful. Found abandoned castles and little hillside villages- and long winding single lane country roads. Hopped a fence and stole grapes from a vineyards. Stared at a waterfall for hours…it was a great great day.

It’s total paradise here.

I can’t wait to come back and find a little apartment of my own- I actually found a village I wouldn’t mind living in a writing my memoirs in… I wish.

Does anyone have any contacts in Publishing? Seriously- I HAVE to come to Italy to write. I just need someone to pay me for it.

All is well- We went to THE MOST INCREDIBLE dinner for Alejandro’s birthday. His sister used to work there- it was on the top of a hill with this majestic view and it’s one of those places where you don’t order they just bring you food- holy shit it was out of control. Then we went driving thru the center at night- which is really amazing. The tiny roman alleys in the center are always so busy during the day but to have them all to yourself in the middle of the night is just the best.

I willed my cold away. I feel fine. I’m sure I’ll collapse when I get home. But until then….

I’m off time to have some coffee. (oh yes- for those of you that remember me as a decaf only girl…yea, that’s way fucking over- the Italians have shown me the perfected art of coffee. God bless them.)

Missing you all

c

VA BENE

Back in Rome and I’m sorry I haven’t written in the ol blog- but I’ve had a crazy couple of days. We got back and I couldn’t believe how happy I was to be here. England definitely made me appreciate this city. It was great to get back, jump on my vespa and go. I spent a bunch of hours finally seeing things and stores and churches and paintings and restaurants that people told me I should see while I was here. I didn’t really have the chance to see them before- and now that I am leaving I feel the distinct need to see all that shit. Loren Jenkins was resoundingly right on all the tips he gave me. Yes, Giolittis really IS the best gelato in the city- and the Caravaggio’s in the St Francis church ARE a marvel to behold…. Good looking out.

Yesterday Alejandro and I took the train down south to a small coastal town called Terracina to pick up a Vespa that was being repaired. In classic Italian fashion we were told to be there at one and of course the bike wasn’t ready until 6pm. So we spent the day at the beach hanging out- and Ali got paid for it. It was a totally unexpected great day. (Admittedly the 2 hour drive home was a bit chilly.) Driving on the back of a Vespa in the dark is a lot like being in the back seat of a convertible- you get a bit blown about and the extremities go a bit numb. It was an adventure…

Today is Alejandro’s birthday and I am taking him out to super fancy dinner tonight…we are going to his favorite restaurant in Rome- and I am totally looking forward to getting all dressed up and eating fancy yummy….

I am fighting off a cold with all my heart and soul. Had a bit of a scratchy throat yesterday- and today I have a runny nose and the cough has begun. But I am ignoring it as best as I can- I went to the pharmacy to think maybe I’d get some medicine. Anyone know how to say non-drowsy decongestant in Italian? Good grief.

I refuse to be sick my last few precious days in Rome.

But the clock is ticking- and I will be in the big Apple on Wednesday the 6th. Which is far more than I can fathom at this point.

Once I get home my whole life will revolve around getting the hell back here. I need to learn Italian, sell the car, rent the apartment, vote for Kerry and get the hell out of dodge.

That being said, I am actually beginning to look forward to going home. I feel like this trip was the perfect length and I am so happy I gave myself the extra week. I needed it. But I am looking forward to seeing all of you and being in my house and seeing my cats and just being AT HOME. And I want to eat dinner at my parents house with my family. I think I am looking forward to that the most.

Ok- I will write more soon.

Ciao ciao.

I WILL BE...

In rome in a few hours.... I can't wait to go home. I mean Rome, I mean, whatever. I can't wait to be a Roman again.

I am realizing that this thing is finally coming to an end...and it's ok- I'm ready. Looking forward to friends and familiar, and New York, and Family.


But first. ROME.

IT'S TOTALLY RIDICULOUS

...that I am still on vacation.

I mean seriously how is this still possible? Does anyone else feel like I've been gone for ages?

Jesus Christ, I mean- I can't even remember what half of you look like anymore. I've really gotten used to this life style- wake up, take it slow, figure out what I want to do- consult the map, then forget the map and go have an adventure.

The thought of going home makes me want to cry.

I mean- it will be nice to sleep in my bed, use MY bathroom, and spoon my cats. But beyond that- shit. I mean- I miss Damaris so much some time I want to explode. I wish she was here with me. But really the rest of it I don't miss. And then sometimes I do.

It's just- I still have something like 15 days till I get home. (In my first 15 days in Rome I had practically lived a life time)

I am just.... I am just grateful. To the universe for letting me have this much need time to reflect and sort and play. And I am grateful for my friends who have written me so much to keep me connected, and I am grateful for the world sending me Ali, and Rome, and the chance to have something wonderful land in my lap, and a chance to start over.

And I just can't believe it's still going.

I mean jesus christ- how good can it get????

MIND THE GAP

Hello and greetings from the UK.....

Well, all is well here- having a total blast...spent the first two days wandering london, taking the tube, having yummy food, and freaking out at all things american....

We just got back from Brighton where we went and spent an amazing day and night with the Delemoses... (Nikky's parents). They were such great hosts- totally took us in and fed us, and we had proper english tea, and indian food, and it was so wonderful to BE IN A HOME and to be taken care of.

But we are back in London tonight, and we will hit the town tonight and then be off tomorrow to shop and see the markets, and the parks and gardens and I've got a few friends here that all come back into town (mike, louise, Melanie) so it will be fun to be here with people I know.

It's so fucking expencsive here- my mind is kind of blown (so is the wallet actually).. and as such we are staying in a decent hotel- really far out of town. When I told nikky where I was staying she relpied 'that's the armpit of london' like she needed to tell me that. let me put it this way- it's in Zone 3- for those of you familiar with london.

But the fucking pound is DOUBLE the dollor. So take out $500 bucks at the ATM, and you've just spent a grand.

Brutal.

But god bless London- there are lots of cheap eats, and I've got my tube pass, and all the museams are free...so we're just fine.

We will be here till tuesday- then it's back to Rome.

And I have to say- I'm really looking forward to going home to Rome. I love it so much there- and this little trip to civilization- or at least one that I recogonise so easily-has really reinforsed my desire to stay in Rome.

It's crazy to be around all this American shit. And I probably wouldn't be enjoying myself as much if it weren't for Ali. This is his first time to London, or an english speaking country for that matter. He is like a deer in headlights....he had his first starbucks the other day...it was really exciting, and made a totaly mundane experience for me really fun.

You get the idea.

We are having a blast, and when I return to Rome I will write much longer.

Hope this finds you all well. I hit American soil on the 6th in NYC and I hit the west coast on the 10th or the 11th...( can't remember).

So- I will see you soon.

Much love

c

THE LONDON EYE

Wow it's so wierd to be in a english speaking country. All the advertisments and stores and radio and televsion and conversations come rushing at me like a tital wave of TOO MUCH AT ONCE. Holy shit- I have been in the dark for 3 weeks- deafly ambling the most beautiful streets in the world and now- in the hustle and bustle of London I...am...a little overwhelmed.

But having on hell of a time.

Didn't get to london until today- showed up a bit early to the airport yesterday- like a full fucking day early. Christ almighty. I'm such a stupid girl sometimes. I swear i thought the ticket said the 21st. How about the 22nd... Got all the way to airport and everything, Gave me a lot to laugh about ALL DAY LONG... Oh well- spent the day in Rome and had a picnic in the park with alejandro and it was amazing- then I went to the cinema- saw Catwoman in Italian. Thank god it wasn't in English is all I can say...at least it made it interesting.

Got here to a whirlwind of madness- found a cheap hostel but only got the room for the night- going to have to sort out different lodging for the morning... Fun times.

It's really wild to be here- it's so much like the states- starbucks virgin, KFC, Burger King...it's nuts. But I think it's good to have a week here to begin the assimilation back to familliar culture. I am glad I get to go back to rome for a week. I miss it a little bit.

TOmmorrow we adventure. I can't wait to explore London and all of this. Plus it is really empowering to SPEAK THE LANGAGE. I feel like I can do anything here- except that it's so bloddy expensive I could die. In addition to already being pricy it's two dollars to every pound. Tough times.

Anyway- will write more later- to all that emailed me- don't have time to resond- but I love you and will write more soon.

Caio, cheers...whatever.