Monday, April 11, 2005
Sunday, April 10, 2005
I'M WORKING ON IT
So I have a ton of Amazing pictures of the funeral to post and I promise I am working on it- but I need another day of so…. We went to the funeral- and we were one of the thousands standing in the square…
But we have also gone out and done a bit of celebrating. Ok a lot of celebrating. Yesterday was one of those days where I kept the sunglasses on inside. Shoni and I have had the MOST AMAZING TIME.
Turns out it’s been a long time since I laughed that hard.
And I’ve been thinking a lot about that. I don’t really laugh here like I do at home- I guess it’s just a level of trust and comfort ability. Having Shoni here and being able to laugh and snort and freak-out and stomp my feet and fall over….
That kind of trust, love and friendship is a marvelous thing. I had it in such abundance in the states, and it is so sparse here.
Anyway- pictures are coming- Shoni leaves tomorrow (she got a new passport- just one hour at the American Embassy and viola…amazing)… and it’s been raining, so we have had a lot of huddled walks under my sagging shitty umbrella…
Fucking hilarious.
Pictures and more thoughts to come.
But we have also gone out and done a bit of celebrating. Ok a lot of celebrating. Yesterday was one of those days where I kept the sunglasses on inside. Shoni and I have had the MOST AMAZING TIME.
Turns out it’s been a long time since I laughed that hard.
And I’ve been thinking a lot about that. I don’t really laugh here like I do at home- I guess it’s just a level of trust and comfort ability. Having Shoni here and being able to laugh and snort and freak-out and stomp my feet and fall over….
That kind of trust, love and friendship is a marvelous thing. I had it in such abundance in the states, and it is so sparse here.
Anyway- pictures are coming- Shoni leaves tomorrow (she got a new passport- just one hour at the American Embassy and viola…amazing)… and it’s been raining, so we have had a lot of huddled walks under my sagging shitty umbrella…
Fucking hilarious.
Pictures and more thoughts to come.
Friday, April 08, 2005
JUST A QUICK CHECK IN
So holy fucking shit the pilgrims have arrived. Fucking hell man- the streets are lined with all kinds of fuckers- all dressed in the same outfits, carrying flags- wearing matching sox, hats, scarves… these people are out of their fucking minds.
There are so many people here- and absolutely no where to put them all- there are no more hotels, no more apartments, even the tents and temporary cots and shit are full… so people are sleeping on the streets, in sleeping bags, in the parks, propped up on benches… the Catholics have become the homeless… everyone loves Jesus and they are all here to prove it…
It’s overwhelming.
Tomorrow is the funeral and the whole city is going to be shut down to cars- they are going to be driving him thru the city in a glass coffin- we are planning to go down to gawk at the crowds and see what it’s all about.
My apologies I have no pictures to post… went down there with out my camera yesterday- amateur.
Shoni arrived today- so amazing to see her- it is her first time to Rome and I am having the most fun showing here around- waxing tour guide and showing off just how little Italian I speak.
Shoni, ever the adventurous one has already had her passport stolen- wasn’t in town 5 minutes when it was slipped right out of her back pocket- AWESOME. So our morning tomorrow will be spent at the Embassy seeing if the situation can’t be resolved- I spoke with the embassy today and they assured me not to worry- so we have decided to take their advise and have a night on the town… all things considered I think she is doing well- no passport, and no babies clinging to her side for the first time in 18 months… and she’s got a smile as big as the coliseum… what a fucking champ.
For me- tutti va bene. Will write more soon- and I promise to post more pics from the heart of the eternal city.
Till then, I remain eternally
Chase.
There are so many people here- and absolutely no where to put them all- there are no more hotels, no more apartments, even the tents and temporary cots and shit are full… so people are sleeping on the streets, in sleeping bags, in the parks, propped up on benches… the Catholics have become the homeless… everyone loves Jesus and they are all here to prove it…
It’s overwhelming.
Tomorrow is the funeral and the whole city is going to be shut down to cars- they are going to be driving him thru the city in a glass coffin- we are planning to go down to gawk at the crowds and see what it’s all about.
My apologies I have no pictures to post… went down there with out my camera yesterday- amateur.
Shoni arrived today- so amazing to see her- it is her first time to Rome and I am having the most fun showing here around- waxing tour guide and showing off just how little Italian I speak.
Shoni, ever the adventurous one has already had her passport stolen- wasn’t in town 5 minutes when it was slipped right out of her back pocket- AWESOME. So our morning tomorrow will be spent at the Embassy seeing if the situation can’t be resolved- I spoke with the embassy today and they assured me not to worry- so we have decided to take their advise and have a night on the town… all things considered I think she is doing well- no passport, and no babies clinging to her side for the first time in 18 months… and she’s got a smile as big as the coliseum… what a fucking champ.
For me- tutti va bene. Will write more soon- and I promise to post more pics from the heart of the eternal city.
Till then, I remain eternally
Chase.
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
TUESDAY AT THE VATICAN
Was a spectacle like I have never seen.
Rome is under siege. The amount of people that have descended upon the city in the last few days has now exceeded many of the previous invasions that Rome fought with force.
This time they are not coming to sack the city… or fight for power they are coming to get in line…
And lemme tell you the line is MASSIVE. It is almost a mile long now- my roommate yesterday waited NINE hours to see the pope. When I think of the line as it was on Monday- just 2 short hours, I can’t believe I got out… now there is no way I will see him. I cannot bear it- nor do I have the faith or patience to endure that kind of wait. I did spend a few hours down there yesterday taking still more pictures , shooting video, etc… the difference in the amount of people is TERRIFYING.
Just when I thought the square simply couldn’t hold anymore people- the amount triples. It is overwhelming- and not a place for the anxious. There are reporters and cameras everywhere- pilgrims, homeless, children, families with prams, young school groups, singing, praying waiting. The line wraps thru 9 city blocks- the streets themselves becoming stanchions. My Kingdome for a helicopter… what a view it would be.
The strange thing is- the rest of Rome is sort of quite, undisturbed… I suppose because everyone is at the fucking Vatican… but it’s amazing to Ride my vespa thru the quite streets and then descend upon this scene where there are literally A MILLION PEOPLE milling around, taking pictures, stopping, talking, crying, praying, wailing,…. It’s just amazing. I sat on a corner and watched a young boy so overwhelmed by the situation he just suddenly starting throwing up…
Noting is unusual here. People are trapped in their homes- on some streets- you simple CANT OPEN your front door- and then, even if you could there is no where to go the streets Are lined wall to wall with people.
It is amazing.
Photos are up- check them out. They are crazy… but they really don’t do the scene justice.
Besides my daily pilgrimages to document the madness, all is well for me. Making friends- seeing people more and more, recognizing people on the street- excited for Shoni to come… quit my job- fucking boss gave me a promotion instead… won’t last long- looking hard for other work- I can’t deal… but he wants me to stay… whatever.
Cats are fine- weather is AWESOME, spring is here and I love this city. Getting to know it well, going shopping and learning the ropes.
It’s an amazing time to live in Rome. And as usually I am humbled and grateful for all of it.
More pics to come. Stay tuned.
Rome is under siege. The amount of people that have descended upon the city in the last few days has now exceeded many of the previous invasions that Rome fought with force.
This time they are not coming to sack the city… or fight for power they are coming to get in line…
And lemme tell you the line is MASSIVE. It is almost a mile long now- my roommate yesterday waited NINE hours to see the pope. When I think of the line as it was on Monday- just 2 short hours, I can’t believe I got out… now there is no way I will see him. I cannot bear it- nor do I have the faith or patience to endure that kind of wait. I did spend a few hours down there yesterday taking still more pictures , shooting video, etc… the difference in the amount of people is TERRIFYING.
Just when I thought the square simply couldn’t hold anymore people- the amount triples. It is overwhelming- and not a place for the anxious. There are reporters and cameras everywhere- pilgrims, homeless, children, families with prams, young school groups, singing, praying waiting. The line wraps thru 9 city blocks- the streets themselves becoming stanchions. My Kingdome for a helicopter… what a view it would be.
The strange thing is- the rest of Rome is sort of quite, undisturbed… I suppose because everyone is at the fucking Vatican… but it’s amazing to Ride my vespa thru the quite streets and then descend upon this scene where there are literally A MILLION PEOPLE milling around, taking pictures, stopping, talking, crying, praying, wailing,…. It’s just amazing. I sat on a corner and watched a young boy so overwhelmed by the situation he just suddenly starting throwing up…
Noting is unusual here. People are trapped in their homes- on some streets- you simple CANT OPEN your front door- and then, even if you could there is no where to go the streets Are lined wall to wall with people.
It is amazing.
Photos are up- check them out. They are crazy… but they really don’t do the scene justice.
Besides my daily pilgrimages to document the madness, all is well for me. Making friends- seeing people more and more, recognizing people on the street- excited for Shoni to come… quit my job- fucking boss gave me a promotion instead… won’t last long- looking hard for other work- I can’t deal… but he wants me to stay… whatever.
Cats are fine- weather is AWESOME, spring is here and I love this city. Getting to know it well, going shopping and learning the ropes.
It’s an amazing time to live in Rome. And as usually I am humbled and grateful for all of it.
More pics to come. Stay tuned.
Monday, April 04, 2005
PHOTOS FROM THE FRONT LINE
St Peters is the center of the world right now.
I have never seen so many fucking people ever in my whole fucking life...
I took some pictures today- and plan to go down again tomorrow- earlier. I want to get closer than I did today….
I have posted some pictures… and there are more to come tomorrow….
But for now....
Ciao papa.
I have never seen so many fucking people ever in my whole fucking life...
I took some pictures today- and plan to go down again tomorrow- earlier. I want to get closer than I did today….
I have posted some pictures… and there are more to come tomorrow….
But for now....
Ciao papa.
Saturday, April 02, 2005
IL PAPA
It’s 11:32 pm. The pope has been dead for just over two hours and I am standing in St Peters Square with about 15 thousand other people.
And I have never heard such silence.
I have spent most of my week here actually. I was here last night. Out of respect, and curiosity- But I spent the first few days of this week actually working here. Illegally selling tourists a tour of the Basilica. It seems like ages ago that a cop stopped me to see if I was working… “no, non capisco niente…” (no, I understand nothing) I said. Playing my dumbest American possible. It worked and he left me alone.
Now I feel sacrilegious for trying to make a sleazy buck off the place.
Tonight it is far from the hustle and bustle of the black market. Tonight is it silent, somber… people with candles, silently crying, a few openly weeping. None if the usual Italian old ladies weeping and crying… it is far too respectful for that.
I was at a party tonight- across town with a whole gaggle of Irish ex-pats… when all of the sudden everyone’s phone went off at once. We turned on the TV. The Pope was dead. I turned to my friend Sinead and said- “want to go down there?”
Within minutes we were in a cab on our way. I don’t know why I wanted to go so bad. For the sheer possibility that I COULD. But also out of respect, and reverence.
The church is so present in Rome- in the buildings and the statues, and the churches… fucking hell the churches. I could go to a different church everyday and it would still take me the better part of a year to see them all. I go into churches all the time. I love the smell- it’s always the same. It smells like stone and cool and rock and marble. Tall cool air, quite, stillness, age. It’s the smell of faith.
I was in St Peters Basilica a few days ago, working, and I saw a woman- all dolled up- Gucci glasses, French manicure, highlighted hair, the whole nine- she was in her late 40s… and there she was, not 5 feet inside the church door, on her knees, eyes closed, whole body involved… praying, pleading… having a word with god, or herself, or whomever. And I thought to myself- I have never felt like she feels right now. I’ve never known a faith like that. I can’t say I want to- at least not with this church… but I wonder sometimes, am I missing out?
She looked so vulnerable. And I wonder- is there anything that could possibly make me trust and believe that hard?
There is a mass being held tonight. Prayers, singing. The applause washed over us in waves. First from the speakers, and then right next to you. Such acoustics in the square. “Padre. Figlio. Spiritus Santi”
I am interviewed for Irish TV. I don’t know what to say. I am not religious, I am here out of respect- and out of Awe. It is quite a spectacle.
The next month will be strange in Rome. We are bracing ourselves for a flood of believers. His body will be on display for a few days. Then the funeral. (the Vatican has yet to announce whether he will be buried inside the Vatican or in Poland where he was from) Then the cardinals will file into the Sistine Chapel and vote in a new pope. They get locked in until a decision is made. If they vote, and there is no decision made the burn chemicals that produce black smoke. If they elect a new pope- they burn chemicals to make white smoke.
There will be people parked out here for days to see that smoke. I may very well be one of them.
I saw the pope last summer… sat pretty close in fact. Now all we see is his bedroom window.
I stay for an hour or so. Walking out is a maze. A parade of people coming, going… a parade of pilgrims.
I don’t have my Vespa so I walk home.
The bus stops are jammed with people- all the restaurants are still open at 1 am.
And the pizza joint just down the street from St Peters is hopping.
And I have never heard such silence.
I have spent most of my week here actually. I was here last night. Out of respect, and curiosity- But I spent the first few days of this week actually working here. Illegally selling tourists a tour of the Basilica. It seems like ages ago that a cop stopped me to see if I was working… “no, non capisco niente…” (no, I understand nothing) I said. Playing my dumbest American possible. It worked and he left me alone.
Now I feel sacrilegious for trying to make a sleazy buck off the place.
Tonight it is far from the hustle and bustle of the black market. Tonight is it silent, somber… people with candles, silently crying, a few openly weeping. None if the usual Italian old ladies weeping and crying… it is far too respectful for that.
I was at a party tonight- across town with a whole gaggle of Irish ex-pats… when all of the sudden everyone’s phone went off at once. We turned on the TV. The Pope was dead. I turned to my friend Sinead and said- “want to go down there?”
Within minutes we were in a cab on our way. I don’t know why I wanted to go so bad. For the sheer possibility that I COULD. But also out of respect, and reverence.
The church is so present in Rome- in the buildings and the statues, and the churches… fucking hell the churches. I could go to a different church everyday and it would still take me the better part of a year to see them all. I go into churches all the time. I love the smell- it’s always the same. It smells like stone and cool and rock and marble. Tall cool air, quite, stillness, age. It’s the smell of faith.
I was in St Peters Basilica a few days ago, working, and I saw a woman- all dolled up- Gucci glasses, French manicure, highlighted hair, the whole nine- she was in her late 40s… and there she was, not 5 feet inside the church door, on her knees, eyes closed, whole body involved… praying, pleading… having a word with god, or herself, or whomever. And I thought to myself- I have never felt like she feels right now. I’ve never known a faith like that. I can’t say I want to- at least not with this church… but I wonder sometimes, am I missing out?
She looked so vulnerable. And I wonder- is there anything that could possibly make me trust and believe that hard?
There is a mass being held tonight. Prayers, singing. The applause washed over us in waves. First from the speakers, and then right next to you. Such acoustics in the square. “Padre. Figlio. Spiritus Santi”
I am interviewed for Irish TV. I don’t know what to say. I am not religious, I am here out of respect- and out of Awe. It is quite a spectacle.
The next month will be strange in Rome. We are bracing ourselves for a flood of believers. His body will be on display for a few days. Then the funeral. (the Vatican has yet to announce whether he will be buried inside the Vatican or in Poland where he was from) Then the cardinals will file into the Sistine Chapel and vote in a new pope. They get locked in until a decision is made. If they vote, and there is no decision made the burn chemicals that produce black smoke. If they elect a new pope- they burn chemicals to make white smoke.
There will be people parked out here for days to see that smoke. I may very well be one of them.
I saw the pope last summer… sat pretty close in fact. Now all we see is his bedroom window.
I stay for an hour or so. Walking out is a maze. A parade of people coming, going… a parade of pilgrims.
I don’t have my Vespa so I walk home.
The bus stops are jammed with people- all the restaurants are still open at 1 am.
And the pizza joint just down the street from St Peters is hopping.
Thursday, March 31, 2005
GOOD NEWS BAD NEWS
So I have good news and I have bad news.
The bad news is that Alejandro and I broke up. I was a mutual decision- something we both knew was coming… still tough to swallow though. (course the sudden appearance of photos of him and the ex girlfriend on his mirror doesn’t help much either)… Fucking Men. But I think we split kindly and I hope to remain friends… after all, he is my only REAL friend in Rome…. I have lots of people I like… but no one who I have really opened up to… not like Alejandro.
And so, as it is rainy and cold tonight in Rome, I am feeling a little heartbroken, and felling a bit sorry for myself.
But if every cloud has a silver lining- well my shit is sterling.
Because it seems like whenever I am really down and out one of my best friends will surface and save the day.
And with that I got a phone call tonight- Shoni, my best friend from High School- the mother of my god sons… and the apple of my fucking eye, has bought a ticket and will be in Rome in a week.
Holy fucking amazing. I am so blessed with my friends.
I can’t wait to take her all over- teach her about Rome, get her drunk (her first trip away from two 18 month old twin baby boys… mommy needs a vacation!)… so I am gonna show her a great time, and in exchange be so happy to see my girl.
So with the good comes the bad.
The job has gone from bad to worse… it’s pretty brutal. Don’t know what exactly I’m gonna do. I feel like
David Sedaris in his “Santa land diary’s…” doing a crap job… as long as I know it will make an excellent chapter… we’ll see.
Also having trouble with my email... I can send, but can't recieve... luckily my good friend Quanzetta Bonzini is letting me use hes till mine is fixed, so if you need to email me, send it to qbonzini@yahoo.com
Gonna stay in tonight an watch a DVD.
Xoxo
C
The bad news is that Alejandro and I broke up. I was a mutual decision- something we both knew was coming… still tough to swallow though. (course the sudden appearance of photos of him and the ex girlfriend on his mirror doesn’t help much either)… Fucking Men. But I think we split kindly and I hope to remain friends… after all, he is my only REAL friend in Rome…. I have lots of people I like… but no one who I have really opened up to… not like Alejandro.
And so, as it is rainy and cold tonight in Rome, I am feeling a little heartbroken, and felling a bit sorry for myself.
But if every cloud has a silver lining- well my shit is sterling.
Because it seems like whenever I am really down and out one of my best friends will surface and save the day.
And with that I got a phone call tonight- Shoni, my best friend from High School- the mother of my god sons… and the apple of my fucking eye, has bought a ticket and will be in Rome in a week.
Holy fucking amazing. I am so blessed with my friends.
I can’t wait to take her all over- teach her about Rome, get her drunk (her first trip away from two 18 month old twin baby boys… mommy needs a vacation!)… so I am gonna show her a great time, and in exchange be so happy to see my girl.
So with the good comes the bad.
The job has gone from bad to worse… it’s pretty brutal. Don’t know what exactly I’m gonna do. I feel like
David Sedaris in his “Santa land diary’s…” doing a crap job… as long as I know it will make an excellent chapter… we’ll see.
Also having trouble with my email... I can send, but can't recieve... luckily my good friend Quanzetta Bonzini is letting me use hes till mine is fixed, so if you need to email me, send it to qbonzini@yahoo.com
Gonna stay in tonight an watch a DVD.
Xoxo
C
Sunday, March 27, 2005
EASTER IN ROME
Well- it’s Easter. Daylight savings, my second day of work, my first day with a roommate, and the first time in History the Pope wasn’t able to speak at an Easter Service.
All in all, a well rounded day.
What can I say. Too bad for the fuckin pope.
The roommate seems fine. She’s jet lagged and asleep. Just how I like her.
Work is… work is something else. I know I will write more soon, as soon as I am able to clearly articulate the world I am now a part of. But let me say just this:
I work on the black market. In the my first two days I have seen a man have an epileptic fit, a man dressed as a gladiator beat up a man with a horse and buggy, I was yelled at twice by people who thought I was working independently, not realizing I was in training- heard every language that this great world has to offer, seen the police come and give a girl a fine for doing the same thing I do… and basically been told, while I do this to watch my front back and center.
All in a days work on the black market in front of the coliseum.
What a sub culture.
I suppose if part of my hope in moving away from the comforts of home was to fully isolate myself from all that was familiar… then I have, officially archived my goal.
All that being said- the job is cake and it is in many ways like shooting fish in a barrel- and I can see how there is a fucking killing to be made here in the high season. So I will probably keep doing it… but not for long… there is a part of one’s soul that can be lost if this kind of job is held onto for too long.
Ahhh Easter. I miss my mother more today than I have the entire time I’ve been away. Right about now she is probably cooking up some amazing springtime feast, in her enormous custom kitchen- setting the table in a manner that would make even Martha Stewart envious… and I think about all the “orphans” she has taken in at Easter over the past few years, people without their family- new to the city…
And I wish she was here, or I was there. Because being taken into parents home is like being taken into the arms of an angel. And I wish I had a mom in Rome.
But alas, I spent Easter dinner with my dear gay friend Oliver. We had a cheese burger and a beer. I went home and ate a Cadbury egg, my first chocolate since Lent began… I kissed my cats and I put my exhausted ass to bed.
All in all, it was a fucking great day.
I hope you all have a great Easter… Passover, what you will. I miss you all.
C
All in all, a well rounded day.
What can I say. Too bad for the fuckin pope.
The roommate seems fine. She’s jet lagged and asleep. Just how I like her.
Work is… work is something else. I know I will write more soon, as soon as I am able to clearly articulate the world I am now a part of. But let me say just this:
I work on the black market. In the my first two days I have seen a man have an epileptic fit, a man dressed as a gladiator beat up a man with a horse and buggy, I was yelled at twice by people who thought I was working independently, not realizing I was in training- heard every language that this great world has to offer, seen the police come and give a girl a fine for doing the same thing I do… and basically been told, while I do this to watch my front back and center.
All in a days work on the black market in front of the coliseum.
What a sub culture.
I suppose if part of my hope in moving away from the comforts of home was to fully isolate myself from all that was familiar… then I have, officially archived my goal.
All that being said- the job is cake and it is in many ways like shooting fish in a barrel- and I can see how there is a fucking killing to be made here in the high season. So I will probably keep doing it… but not for long… there is a part of one’s soul that can be lost if this kind of job is held onto for too long.
Ahhh Easter. I miss my mother more today than I have the entire time I’ve been away. Right about now she is probably cooking up some amazing springtime feast, in her enormous custom kitchen- setting the table in a manner that would make even Martha Stewart envious… and I think about all the “orphans” she has taken in at Easter over the past few years, people without their family- new to the city…
And I wish she was here, or I was there. Because being taken into parents home is like being taken into the arms of an angel. And I wish I had a mom in Rome.
But alas, I spent Easter dinner with my dear gay friend Oliver. We had a cheese burger and a beer. I went home and ate a Cadbury egg, my first chocolate since Lent began… I kissed my cats and I put my exhausted ass to bed.
All in all, it was a fucking great day.
I hope you all have a great Easter… Passover, what you will. I miss you all.
C
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
CARTER CARTER
Just a quick note to say what up and happy birthday to Carter Carter- the best brother ever….
Made a birthday movie for him… which is, as usually up for public ridicule.
There is another little film up there as well….
Good thing I’m in Italy, or I might have had to break Carters other arm this year….
Made a birthday movie for him… which is, as usually up for public ridicule.
There is another little film up there as well….
Good thing I’m in Italy, or I might have had to break Carters other arm this year….
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
GATHERING
So you go down to the coliseum for 5 or 6 hours as many days a week as you want, and you talk to tourists and you get them to go on tours with licensed English speaking tour guides. Then when you see a group of young American spring breaker types- you give them a flyer for a pub crawl that night “you get a free shot at every bar you go to and it’s all you can drink for free from 9 to 10p!!!”
And for every person you recruit you get $$ for them.
It’s like shooting fish in a barrel.
It’s not the most glamorous job I’ve ever had- but it’s money, and it might very well just keep me in Rome. And that’s all that matters at this point. I start on Saturday- I wil, of course, keep you updated.
It is funny that after growing up in Aspen and hating tourists with a vengeance.. they are now going to be my bread and butter. Classic.
It's like the ultimate summer job. Right?… how high school of me… (I really DID give up the career…)
But I think it's gonna be hilarious. I spoke to a girl who made almost 20,000 last summer. I was like, shit fuck it... apparently the gatherers make more than the guides... so we'll see.
And hopefully by next fall I will be able to get a "real" job. One that stimulates the mind a bit more. Perhaps “Rome” will come back to town…
But for now-I am letting the ego have a much needed rest- just chilling you know? Really letting it all hang out… actually relaxing.
Being poor, enjoying my friends, myself, the city and the moment.
And for every person you recruit you get $$ for them.
It’s like shooting fish in a barrel.
It’s not the most glamorous job I’ve ever had- but it’s money, and it might very well just keep me in Rome. And that’s all that matters at this point. I start on Saturday- I wil, of course, keep you updated.
It is funny that after growing up in Aspen and hating tourists with a vengeance.. they are now going to be my bread and butter. Classic.
It's like the ultimate summer job. Right?… how high school of me… (I really DID give up the career…)
But I think it's gonna be hilarious. I spoke to a girl who made almost 20,000 last summer. I was like, shit fuck it... apparently the gatherers make more than the guides... so we'll see.
And hopefully by next fall I will be able to get a "real" job. One that stimulates the mind a bit more. Perhaps “Rome” will come back to town…
But for now-I am letting the ego have a much needed rest- just chilling you know? Really letting it all hang out… actually relaxing.
Being poor, enjoying my friends, myself, the city and the moment.
Monday, March 21, 2005
WELCOME TO THE HOTEL CHASE CARTER
What a week- what a spring it’s gonna be. What a life.
Max was here this week and man did we have fun. We ate big, we drank big, we had a fucking blast. It was so much fun.
Alejandro has been staying here also- so 2 boys, 2 cats and a girl…you can imagine I was excited to see them off and clean the apartment. Katrina Miller and her parents Molly and Brad drove thru Rome Sunday and we got to have lunch and a gelato before Brad and Molly drove back to Cortona. Good thing I changed the sheets in the guest room, because Katrina stayed the night and flew out in this morning. Also got a phone call this week from Julie Devilbiss (from CRMS), she has been in South East Asia for many many months, and will be coming thru Rome mid April.
I feel like I have become the European hub for all my American friends. It’s awesome…. Unfortunately for Jules, the room is rented then- so I told her a night or two max, as she’s gonna have to stay in my room, (which is a little crowded for my taste)… but what fun to have another visitor! It’s gonna be great,
Had a really great week- Max rented a scooter and the two of us tore ass around the city… kinda fun to show off that I knew my way around, and he got the city down (it’s not that hard…)… and we found a different restaurant (or two) everyday and just ATE ATE ATE. I am going to not eat for a month to try and regain some balance from last week. Max ordered what I would say was, probably the best steak I have ever tasted. A few (hundred) bottles of wine that were pretty amazing, Max found his new favorite pasta… it was all pretty unreal… fucking hell man.
But now it is Monday and I am still full, and just so tired. This is my last week of school, as well as I am going to be starting a job this week. Under the table gathering. Basically I go down to the coliseum and find people to go on tours with Legal tour guides, and then I find young stupid American kids to go on pub crawls. Probably the easiest job I will ever have… I get paid per person I recruit- and now that spring is here so are the tourists- and there is a killing to be made off these bastards.
Have a friend who told me he made 20,000 last summer gathering. I don’t know about any of that- I figure fuck it, if it’s cash, it’s under the table, and It can keep me in Rome- I’m all for it. Plus it’s like, smoke cigarettes, hang out- make money. I feel like I’m in high school. Like I said, didn’t come to Rome for the career….
So I will start that shit this week too.
This weekend is Easter and Rome is bearing down to be inundated with the Religious zealots making their pilgrimage to the Vatican. I imaging it’s going to be pretty spectacular.
Speaking of spectacular- so is the weather. I am loving that spring is finally here. Things are taking a long time to get green I feel like, but I suppose I am used to LA where trees are in blossom in February. I have forgotten the magic of spring. The hint of the heat that is on it’s way and a brisk twinge of the cold that was just there. Magnificent.
Mother nature, what a babe.
For now it is about getting back to real life- Max made me feel like I was on vacation again… time to get back to reality. I get my first roommate this weekend- actually, my friend Sandy (from the airplane) is coming back thru on Friday night on HER way out of town, then Sunday a woman from Germany named Ursula (awesome) is renting the room for a week, and THEN on the 1st, Ursula moves out and Penelope moves in. As of right now Penelope is staying for a month, and depending on how it goes I will either let her stay- or, send her packing. I will have NO PROBLEM renting the room in the summer- and I can make a killing. Fuckin hell man, I’ve had so many responses from my ad on Craig’s List- most for the summer anyway… I can make bank in the summer- so it’s good I think.
Now just to see if I can bear having another person in my house. A house guest is one thing- a roommate is whole other. I figure, as long as they keep to themselves and don’t want me to talk to them- I should be fine. UHHHHH.
Yikes.
Anyway.
Wednesday the phone and DSL get hooked up (allegedly) only took 23 days for them to make and appointment after I signed up for service. What a joke. Hopefully it will work and I can email from home. Oh my god how awesome would that be…. Ahhh. It’s gonna be nice as hell.
So I am happy. It’s spring- I’ll be working soon, making money, being outside… I love it here. Come visit, come move, come stay.
Everyone who comes to Italy says, “god it’s so great, what a nice life, I wish I could make that reality…”
You think it’s nice for a few days, it’s unbelievably when it’s reality.
La Dolce Vida baby.
Ps: happy 30th megan!!
Max was here this week and man did we have fun. We ate big, we drank big, we had a fucking blast. It was so much fun.
Alejandro has been staying here also- so 2 boys, 2 cats and a girl…you can imagine I was excited to see them off and clean the apartment. Katrina Miller and her parents Molly and Brad drove thru Rome Sunday and we got to have lunch and a gelato before Brad and Molly drove back to Cortona. Good thing I changed the sheets in the guest room, because Katrina stayed the night and flew out in this morning. Also got a phone call this week from Julie Devilbiss (from CRMS), she has been in South East Asia for many many months, and will be coming thru Rome mid April.
I feel like I have become the European hub for all my American friends. It’s awesome…. Unfortunately for Jules, the room is rented then- so I told her a night or two max, as she’s gonna have to stay in my room, (which is a little crowded for my taste)… but what fun to have another visitor! It’s gonna be great,
Had a really great week- Max rented a scooter and the two of us tore ass around the city… kinda fun to show off that I knew my way around, and he got the city down (it’s not that hard…)… and we found a different restaurant (or two) everyday and just ATE ATE ATE. I am going to not eat for a month to try and regain some balance from last week. Max ordered what I would say was, probably the best steak I have ever tasted. A few (hundred) bottles of wine that were pretty amazing, Max found his new favorite pasta… it was all pretty unreal… fucking hell man.
But now it is Monday and I am still full, and just so tired. This is my last week of school, as well as I am going to be starting a job this week. Under the table gathering. Basically I go down to the coliseum and find people to go on tours with Legal tour guides, and then I find young stupid American kids to go on pub crawls. Probably the easiest job I will ever have… I get paid per person I recruit- and now that spring is here so are the tourists- and there is a killing to be made off these bastards.
Have a friend who told me he made 20,000 last summer gathering. I don’t know about any of that- I figure fuck it, if it’s cash, it’s under the table, and It can keep me in Rome- I’m all for it. Plus it’s like, smoke cigarettes, hang out- make money. I feel like I’m in high school. Like I said, didn’t come to Rome for the career….
So I will start that shit this week too.
This weekend is Easter and Rome is bearing down to be inundated with the Religious zealots making their pilgrimage to the Vatican. I imaging it’s going to be pretty spectacular.
Speaking of spectacular- so is the weather. I am loving that spring is finally here. Things are taking a long time to get green I feel like, but I suppose I am used to LA where trees are in blossom in February. I have forgotten the magic of spring. The hint of the heat that is on it’s way and a brisk twinge of the cold that was just there. Magnificent.
Mother nature, what a babe.
For now it is about getting back to real life- Max made me feel like I was on vacation again… time to get back to reality. I get my first roommate this weekend- actually, my friend Sandy (from the airplane) is coming back thru on Friday night on HER way out of town, then Sunday a woman from Germany named Ursula (awesome) is renting the room for a week, and THEN on the 1st, Ursula moves out and Penelope moves in. As of right now Penelope is staying for a month, and depending on how it goes I will either let her stay- or, send her packing. I will have NO PROBLEM renting the room in the summer- and I can make a killing. Fuckin hell man, I’ve had so many responses from my ad on Craig’s List- most for the summer anyway… I can make bank in the summer- so it’s good I think.
Now just to see if I can bear having another person in my house. A house guest is one thing- a roommate is whole other. I figure, as long as they keep to themselves and don’t want me to talk to them- I should be fine. UHHHHH.
Yikes.
Anyway.
Wednesday the phone and DSL get hooked up (allegedly) only took 23 days for them to make and appointment after I signed up for service. What a joke. Hopefully it will work and I can email from home. Oh my god how awesome would that be…. Ahhh. It’s gonna be nice as hell.
So I am happy. It’s spring- I’ll be working soon, making money, being outside… I love it here. Come visit, come move, come stay.
Everyone who comes to Italy says, “god it’s so great, what a nice life, I wish I could make that reality…”
You think it’s nice for a few days, it’s unbelievably when it’s reality.
La Dolce Vida baby.
Ps: happy 30th megan!!
Thursday, March 17, 2005
JUST A QUICK NOTE
so- I don't have time for a proper entry- Max is at a bar waiting for me- but the computer was free at school- so here I am.
I'm fucking knackered. It's week three in school and the serious fucking difficulties and complexities of the Italian Language are rearing their ugly fucking head. It's really hard, and totally brutal. Still I persist.
Max is the fucking shit- it's so fun having him hear- but that fucking guy eats three solid squares a day and I usually eat one- I feel like I'm gonna pop. But the food has been SO GOOD and the beers have been full, frothy, and often forthcoming.
Needless to say- I'm tired and could use a nap. But it's St Pattys day- and when your friends with a bunch of Irish...That's kinda a big deal.
Fuck.
Time to shine it on people. This is no hour for the meek. Stay strong, stay the course and for gods sakes hold me closer Tiny Dancer- hold me closer.
I'm fucking knackered. It's week three in school and the serious fucking difficulties and complexities of the Italian Language are rearing their ugly fucking head. It's really hard, and totally brutal. Still I persist.
Max is the fucking shit- it's so fun having him hear- but that fucking guy eats three solid squares a day and I usually eat one- I feel like I'm gonna pop. But the food has been SO GOOD and the beers have been full, frothy, and often forthcoming.
Needless to say- I'm tired and could use a nap. But it's St Pattys day- and when your friends with a bunch of Irish...That's kinda a big deal.
Fuck.
Time to shine it on people. This is no hour for the meek. Stay strong, stay the course and for gods sakes hold me closer Tiny Dancer- hold me closer.
Monday, March 14, 2005
BIG NEWS
Oh my god. You move all the way to the other side of the world… and it’s wonderful. And you think it can’t get any better- and then it does.
Max wheeler will be here, in Rome at 4:00 tomorrow.
I feel like I could explode I am so excited. I miss all you guys so much sometimes I am paralyzed with Ache… and the fact that he is coming… is so fucking awesome- I cannot even begin to explain.
We are going to have a birthday party for him, I am going to feed him well, take him around, and hopefully get him laid…
It’s gonna be awesome. He’s here thru Saturday- Its gonna be so fun. I am at a point where all of this is so much for me- I am really looking forward to falling into the arms of an old friend and having it out- you know- a proper heart to heart. It’s hard to do it on the phone, and I just don’t know anyone well enough here yet. Can’t wait.
Beyond that- this past weekend was really fun. Got quite drunk on Saturday night- and it was so fun. Haven’t been pissed in ages, and it was really fun… got rowdy and loud and sang and danced and stomped around with my Irish friends and woke up hungover…. Really fun. No one parties like the Irish… they really are a stupid bunch- god bless em.
The job hunt is totally fucked. God damn papers, god damn laws…god damn language. Oh boy- I’m working on it- I swear. But it just ain’t easy- Romans are such a bunch of nepotistic fucks- an outsider just hardly stands a chance. And it’s so hard to use my charm in a foreign language… blast. But I remain optimist- even in the face of certain doom… fuck it- you only live once. I’m making the most and having a blast, and taking the chips as they come.
I really love my neighborhood. There was a marathon on Sunday- and the finish line was about 2 blocks away from my front door. It’s so fun to live in a proper city- where you can walk to things, and be in the middle of it all. LA is so blasted spread out- it’s nice to be in the thick of it. It’s been years since I could walk anywhere interesting….
Oh- fucking Rome- some fucker knocked my vespa over and broke my windshield. It was so pristine when I got it… and in just a month and half- it has gotten really, USED. Sad little egg. Yea, the chicken needs some love. When (if I ever) get a job I will get her all spruced up- but right now, like me, she’s got to go without some of the trimmings and do with what we’ve got.
We’ll manage.
Anyway- hope everyone is well- gagging for some gossip… what are you up to over there? Send me some news.
Xoxo
C
Max wheeler will be here, in Rome at 4:00 tomorrow.
I feel like I could explode I am so excited. I miss all you guys so much sometimes I am paralyzed with Ache… and the fact that he is coming… is so fucking awesome- I cannot even begin to explain.
We are going to have a birthday party for him, I am going to feed him well, take him around, and hopefully get him laid…
It’s gonna be awesome. He’s here thru Saturday- Its gonna be so fun. I am at a point where all of this is so much for me- I am really looking forward to falling into the arms of an old friend and having it out- you know- a proper heart to heart. It’s hard to do it on the phone, and I just don’t know anyone well enough here yet. Can’t wait.
Beyond that- this past weekend was really fun. Got quite drunk on Saturday night- and it was so fun. Haven’t been pissed in ages, and it was really fun… got rowdy and loud and sang and danced and stomped around with my Irish friends and woke up hungover…. Really fun. No one parties like the Irish… they really are a stupid bunch- god bless em.
The job hunt is totally fucked. God damn papers, god damn laws…god damn language. Oh boy- I’m working on it- I swear. But it just ain’t easy- Romans are such a bunch of nepotistic fucks- an outsider just hardly stands a chance. And it’s so hard to use my charm in a foreign language… blast. But I remain optimist- even in the face of certain doom… fuck it- you only live once. I’m making the most and having a blast, and taking the chips as they come.
I really love my neighborhood. There was a marathon on Sunday- and the finish line was about 2 blocks away from my front door. It’s so fun to live in a proper city- where you can walk to things, and be in the middle of it all. LA is so blasted spread out- it’s nice to be in the thick of it. It’s been years since I could walk anywhere interesting….
Oh- fucking Rome- some fucker knocked my vespa over and broke my windshield. It was so pristine when I got it… and in just a month and half- it has gotten really, USED. Sad little egg. Yea, the chicken needs some love. When (if I ever) get a job I will get her all spruced up- but right now, like me, she’s got to go without some of the trimmings and do with what we’ve got.
We’ll manage.
Anyway- hope everyone is well- gagging for some gossip… what are you up to over there? Send me some news.
Xoxo
C
Thursday, March 10, 2005
KINDA AWESOME
So I have news.... first thing is that I rented my spare room in my apt as of April 1st for a month- and it might be longer but we thought we'd start with a month in case she bugs... She, is 27, from Australia- worked as a publisist for a Aussie TV station in Sydney- decided to say fuck it- and moved to Bolonga 6 months ago... she just moved to Rome...and for better or worse will be my roomate as of april fools day. Good lord. I am really happy- she is super cool, and it relieves some of the pressure to know there is going to be help with the rent....
The other news is: I had my first full blown converstaion with an Italian man today. It was mind boggleingly awesome. I think I am still glowing from it. I was TOTALLY speaking Italian. When I told him I had only been in school for 2 weeks- he said, no you mean two months... and I was like, no- two WEEKS. He was impressed. I, was, endlessly pleased with myself.
And so- I am feeling very fancy pants right now- so I am going to get myself a big cocktail and continue to think I'm the shit...(at least for a little while longer yet...)
One more thing... having a little crash on my vespa has made me a much better driver, far more cautious, but also somehow more confident.... it's as if I've taken a blow and now the street and I are somehow simpatico... I don't know.
Oh shit and one more thing!! Mimi and Santiago you big fucking gaggle of awesomeness!!! I got a fucking postcard with a piture of ma-mees on it today. I CANNOT EXPLAIN the sheer joy I felt to one, recieve mail, and two, to have it be a personal letter- card whatever. So a public WHAT UP YOU FUCKING ROCK...to mameems and mymans. Well done- I love REAL mail. ahhh. (just for the record I got a package from the fams this week... but that came to the store, and not to the mailbox...this was my 1st piece of mail IN the mailbox..... it was huge...)
Anyway.
god, I'm so fucking perky. Jesus.
love to you all.
c
The other news is: I had my first full blown converstaion with an Italian man today. It was mind boggleingly awesome. I think I am still glowing from it. I was TOTALLY speaking Italian. When I told him I had only been in school for 2 weeks- he said, no you mean two months... and I was like, no- two WEEKS. He was impressed. I, was, endlessly pleased with myself.
And so- I am feeling very fancy pants right now- so I am going to get myself a big cocktail and continue to think I'm the shit...(at least for a little while longer yet...)
One more thing... having a little crash on my vespa has made me a much better driver, far more cautious, but also somehow more confident.... it's as if I've taken a blow and now the street and I are somehow simpatico... I don't know.
Oh shit and one more thing!! Mimi and Santiago you big fucking gaggle of awesomeness!!! I got a fucking postcard with a piture of ma-mees on it today. I CANNOT EXPLAIN the sheer joy I felt to one, recieve mail, and two, to have it be a personal letter- card whatever. So a public WHAT UP YOU FUCKING ROCK...to mameems and mymans. Well done- I love REAL mail. ahhh. (just for the record I got a package from the fams this week... but that came to the store, and not to the mailbox...this was my 1st piece of mail IN the mailbox..... it was huge...)
Anyway.
god, I'm so fucking perky. Jesus.
love to you all.
c
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
UNTITLED
Still not convinced this is reality...I mean- getting up every day jumping on my scooter and zooming by the colosseum, the forum, the piazza venezia, and the campo di fiore on my way to school- HOW IS THIS ALL REAL? I said that I need to get a job- and it’s true, I think it might reinforce the reality of this situation.
It's finally getting warmer here- and it's like a whole new city. It has been 9 years since I lived in a place that had seasons, and I had forgotten how nice it is to appreciate the approach of spring... each day a little warmer- each day one less piece of clothing. AHHHH.
Pete and Sally (my cats) are great- I think they miss their yard- but then so do I. They have their windows they sit on, and their tiny balcony they turn their nose up at. But the apt is a decent size and so we are comfortable. They have their heated pads, their pillows, and Pete has my cashmere sweaters.... and we have each other. And amazingly- the three of us have discovered- that is all we really need. As long as when it gets dark, and nighttime comes- we can get in bed- Pete at my head Sally at my knees... the three of us are fine. It's like a reset button every night. We can take anything as long as we stay together,. Such a team us 3.
Meeting an Australian girl who might be interested in renting my spare room tomorrow. Nervous- don't want a roommate. Unfortunately I can no longer afford the luxury of living alone. Not in the center in this apartment anyway- and I just don't want to live far away- away from everything I love about Rome.
Carter sent me 4 episodes of the OC- 2 of which I had seen- but I watched them anyway. It was SO WIERD to watch the commercials, and the coming attractions for things like American Idol, and Family Guy.. and all this weird American crap I haven't thought of in ages.
It was pretty weird watching it, and then once it was over turning off my computer and being like- fuck- I'm still in Italy, I forgot for a minute. It was super weird....
So my daily schedule is like this: I get up early- write, sweep (an everyday must in this apt) make coffee, shower, do homework blah blah... then I run down to the internet point to check email, read news ect. Then I spend about 2 hours working on the job hunt... resumes, faxing, calling, whatever.... class is from 2 to 6. Then I usually come home, eat. Maybe go out with a friend, maybe go to my local pub, maybe hang with Alejandro, sometimes go to a movie- whenever there is one in VO ("version Origionale").... don't have a TV- so I have discovered these marvelous things- don't know if you heard of them- they're called "books" They're amazing. It's true, I stared reading, whatever I can get my hands on- it's awesome. So I don't really miss TV anymore (which is probably why it was so weird to watch it last night...)
And so it's pretty easy- I found my grocery store, and my butcher, the place to buy flowers and wine, and I'm finding the good shitty pubs, the swanky places... found the best restaurant in Rome... doing really well. But now I have no money anymore... so it's like fuck. Now I know where to go, I just cant' go there.
But it's good for me to be poor. I've spent so long appreciating everything around me- friends, family, the car, the house, the life.... never realized I should be grateful for the money.... hah.
I cook a lot at home, and I am loosing weight. The ingredients are so much better here- it makes me seem like I am a much better cook than I am. My kitchen is small, but sufficient. I don't have a lot of things, and it's so funny how I have learned to improvise to make do. Need a vase for flowers? Use an old tin can... need a cup for salt? Use an espresso cup... I made eggplant parmesan the other night and I COULD NOT find bread-crumbs at the store. So I bought bruchetta and put my clogs on and stomped it down into crumbs. It fucking worked... hilarious. I don't have bowls. No bowls... who knew cereal could be so good out of a sauce pan.... I just can't bring myself to buy all new shit- I ALREADY OWN A KITCHEN FULL OF SHIT IN THE STATES... I don't know. (But I will buy bowls... I need those). The cappuccino machine was a total necessity though. Really awesome. Having a small fridge and a scooter that can only carry so many groceries at a time means I have to shop often- and it makes me feel like I am very much in the moment.
And I have a washer machine... no dryer. It too is small so the loads are small and frequent- and I line dry my clothes- which makes them stiff and full of lint. But I don't really care... it's all fine. (tough with the cat hair though...)
I like it in Rome. I know I keep writing these long drawn out love stories about Rome- and for that I apologize- must be getting boring… but life is good here…
One last thing today- about a month ago ya’ll had the Grammies- and I just wanted to give a public shout out to my cousin TJ who fucking won a Grammy for his work on the latest Wilco album. TJ is an exceedingly talented and humble little man- but I am very proud of him- and give major props to a 28 year old who already has a fucking Grammy on his shelf. Well done T.
It's finally getting warmer here- and it's like a whole new city. It has been 9 years since I lived in a place that had seasons, and I had forgotten how nice it is to appreciate the approach of spring... each day a little warmer- each day one less piece of clothing. AHHHH.
Pete and Sally (my cats) are great- I think they miss their yard- but then so do I. They have their windows they sit on, and their tiny balcony they turn their nose up at. But the apt is a decent size and so we are comfortable. They have their heated pads, their pillows, and Pete has my cashmere sweaters.... and we have each other. And amazingly- the three of us have discovered- that is all we really need. As long as when it gets dark, and nighttime comes- we can get in bed- Pete at my head Sally at my knees... the three of us are fine. It's like a reset button every night. We can take anything as long as we stay together,. Such a team us 3.
Meeting an Australian girl who might be interested in renting my spare room tomorrow. Nervous- don't want a roommate. Unfortunately I can no longer afford the luxury of living alone. Not in the center in this apartment anyway- and I just don't want to live far away- away from everything I love about Rome.
Carter sent me 4 episodes of the OC- 2 of which I had seen- but I watched them anyway. It was SO WIERD to watch the commercials, and the coming attractions for things like American Idol, and Family Guy.. and all this weird American crap I haven't thought of in ages.
It was pretty weird watching it, and then once it was over turning off my computer and being like- fuck- I'm still in Italy, I forgot for a minute. It was super weird....
So my daily schedule is like this: I get up early- write, sweep (an everyday must in this apt) make coffee, shower, do homework blah blah... then I run down to the internet point to check email, read news ect. Then I spend about 2 hours working on the job hunt... resumes, faxing, calling, whatever.... class is from 2 to 6. Then I usually come home, eat. Maybe go out with a friend, maybe go to my local pub, maybe hang with Alejandro, sometimes go to a movie- whenever there is one in VO ("version Origionale").... don't have a TV- so I have discovered these marvelous things- don't know if you heard of them- they're called "books" They're amazing. It's true, I stared reading, whatever I can get my hands on- it's awesome. So I don't really miss TV anymore (which is probably why it was so weird to watch it last night...)
And so it's pretty easy- I found my grocery store, and my butcher, the place to buy flowers and wine, and I'm finding the good shitty pubs, the swanky places... found the best restaurant in Rome... doing really well. But now I have no money anymore... so it's like fuck. Now I know where to go, I just cant' go there.
But it's good for me to be poor. I've spent so long appreciating everything around me- friends, family, the car, the house, the life.... never realized I should be grateful for the money.... hah.
I cook a lot at home, and I am loosing weight. The ingredients are so much better here- it makes me seem like I am a much better cook than I am. My kitchen is small, but sufficient. I don't have a lot of things, and it's so funny how I have learned to improvise to make do. Need a vase for flowers? Use an old tin can... need a cup for salt? Use an espresso cup... I made eggplant parmesan the other night and I COULD NOT find bread-crumbs at the store. So I bought bruchetta and put my clogs on and stomped it down into crumbs. It fucking worked... hilarious. I don't have bowls. No bowls... who knew cereal could be so good out of a sauce pan.... I just can't bring myself to buy all new shit- I ALREADY OWN A KITCHEN FULL OF SHIT IN THE STATES... I don't know. (But I will buy bowls... I need those). The cappuccino machine was a total necessity though. Really awesome. Having a small fridge and a scooter that can only carry so many groceries at a time means I have to shop often- and it makes me feel like I am very much in the moment.
And I have a washer machine... no dryer. It too is small so the loads are small and frequent- and I line dry my clothes- which makes them stiff and full of lint. But I don't really care... it's all fine. (tough with the cat hair though...)
I like it in Rome. I know I keep writing these long drawn out love stories about Rome- and for that I apologize- must be getting boring… but life is good here…
One last thing today- about a month ago ya’ll had the Grammies- and I just wanted to give a public shout out to my cousin TJ who fucking won a Grammy for his work on the latest Wilco album. TJ is an exceedingly talented and humble little man- but I am very proud of him- and give major props to a 28 year old who already has a fucking Grammy on his shelf. Well done T.
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
HAPPINESS IS A WARM GUN
Wow- what a weekend.
There is so much to tell…It’s almost impossible to tell all- must surmise.
-The girl I sat next to on the airplane flying from Philadelphia to Rome- who was awesome- came to visit me this weekend. Don’t know her from Adam- sometimes instinct is right. She is a wonderful woman- smart, interesting amazing. She is 26 and a doctor doing work in Palermo, Sicily- went to Brown and RISD. Good person. Good conversation. Good time. Had a blast with her- REALLY FUN.
-Got taken into a home on Sunday morning and made breakfast for. Andre Ankenbrandt from CRMS told me I HAD to look this woman up- finally after a month we got together. She made the most extravagant brunch- and the three of us (Sandy- girl from plane came with) had THE MOST wonderful time. Talking, sharing ideas…really lovely. Adored her. So kind, smart, successful… cat owner, great.
-Italian Drag queens in a gay dance club. Unbelievable…. Beyond Rangoon.
- Walking in Rome. Finally warm this weekend- so I parked the Vespa for the weekend and explored by foot- so different. Legs are sore I walked so much. Love Rome on foot. LOVE IT.
-My new friend from Germany- Oliver. SO SO SMART. Adorable, sweet, kind, dear. Leaving in 3 weeks- fuck. I like having a new friend… especially one who has something to say. Not all the people I have met here are rocket scientists… many of them ex-pats who have run away from their life to be in a bubble… Oliver is different. I like talking with him- he has a brain, he makes me use mine. (However- sorry ladies, he’s gay)
-Things going SO WELL with boy- settling into being a girlfriend- it’s actually kind of fun. I had forgotten.
-Haven’t worked in a month. Don’t miss work- miss money. Finally used my coordinating skills and made a budget for myself. MUST FIND JOB. Financial stress- turning into tangible fear. Shit. Why couldn’t I have been born a Trump?
-ITALIAN CLASS ITALIAN CLASS ITALIAN CLASS. Love my teachers, love going to school, love to learn, love to FINALLY be able to speak (even if it’s only a little- right now) learning so much with each day- exhilarating. Happiness is talking to people in Italian.
-Found good cat food, found good kitty litter. Happy cats = happy chase.
-Discovering new jewels and gems around every corner. “The discovery of Rome is like the discovery of sex. Magnificent” -L Jenkins. Truer words never spoken.
-The first time I came to Rome I ate in the best meal of my life. Never forgot it. Last Friday I decided to spend the afternoon searching for it. Found it!!!!!!! Went on Saturday night. Memory served. Unbelievable. Cheap, exquisite. My favorite restaurant ever. Wow.
-Dad had a birthday. Missed it. Felt strange. Made a video for him- if you want to download it you can by going here. It’s me in my house… goofy, but whatever.
-Social life booming. Many new friends, many things to do, places to go, people to see. Travel makes us more open by nature. I am as wide open as I have ever been. Wonderful. But I do miss my “real friends”… like people here- ache for my lifers.
-All in all doing well- very well. Love this city, love myself here. Lov-in-ah.
- Happiness is a warm gun…. Or at least a warm bowl of Rome.
There is so much to tell…It’s almost impossible to tell all- must surmise.
-The girl I sat next to on the airplane flying from Philadelphia to Rome- who was awesome- came to visit me this weekend. Don’t know her from Adam- sometimes instinct is right. She is a wonderful woman- smart, interesting amazing. She is 26 and a doctor doing work in Palermo, Sicily- went to Brown and RISD. Good person. Good conversation. Good time. Had a blast with her- REALLY FUN.
-Got taken into a home on Sunday morning and made breakfast for. Andre Ankenbrandt from CRMS told me I HAD to look this woman up- finally after a month we got together. She made the most extravagant brunch- and the three of us (Sandy- girl from plane came with) had THE MOST wonderful time. Talking, sharing ideas…really lovely. Adored her. So kind, smart, successful… cat owner, great.
-Italian Drag queens in a gay dance club. Unbelievable…. Beyond Rangoon.
- Walking in Rome. Finally warm this weekend- so I parked the Vespa for the weekend and explored by foot- so different. Legs are sore I walked so much. Love Rome on foot. LOVE IT.
-My new friend from Germany- Oliver. SO SO SMART. Adorable, sweet, kind, dear. Leaving in 3 weeks- fuck. I like having a new friend… especially one who has something to say. Not all the people I have met here are rocket scientists… many of them ex-pats who have run away from their life to be in a bubble… Oliver is different. I like talking with him- he has a brain, he makes me use mine. (However- sorry ladies, he’s gay)
-Things going SO WELL with boy- settling into being a girlfriend- it’s actually kind of fun. I had forgotten.
-Haven’t worked in a month. Don’t miss work- miss money. Finally used my coordinating skills and made a budget for myself. MUST FIND JOB. Financial stress- turning into tangible fear. Shit. Why couldn’t I have been born a Trump?
-ITALIAN CLASS ITALIAN CLASS ITALIAN CLASS. Love my teachers, love going to school, love to learn, love to FINALLY be able to speak (even if it’s only a little- right now) learning so much with each day- exhilarating. Happiness is talking to people in Italian.
-Found good cat food, found good kitty litter. Happy cats = happy chase.
-Discovering new jewels and gems around every corner. “The discovery of Rome is like the discovery of sex. Magnificent” -L Jenkins. Truer words never spoken.
-The first time I came to Rome I ate in the best meal of my life. Never forgot it. Last Friday I decided to spend the afternoon searching for it. Found it!!!!!!! Went on Saturday night. Memory served. Unbelievable. Cheap, exquisite. My favorite restaurant ever. Wow.
-Dad had a birthday. Missed it. Felt strange. Made a video for him- if you want to download it you can by going here. It’s me in my house… goofy, but whatever.
-Social life booming. Many new friends, many things to do, places to go, people to see. Travel makes us more open by nature. I am as wide open as I have ever been. Wonderful. But I do miss my “real friends”… like people here- ache for my lifers.
-All in all doing well- very well. Love this city, love myself here. Lov-in-ah.
- Happiness is a warm gun…. Or at least a warm bowl of Rome.
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
STIRRED
On one hand I am searching- on the other hand I've found it... well, perhaps not totally, but in part.
In truth I feel very much at home in this city. And it feels very right for me. But I am poor for the first time in my life, and that makes me scared. I suppose I can always go home- so I am never without a certain security- but the financial freedom my career afforded me was so wonderful (and I can honestly say- NOT taken for granted- so I am glad I was awake and smelling the roses for the past few years...). But now I am in a city that has basically NYC prices, but where you make (I don't know where, but somewhere real poor, Memphis perhaps?) wages.
And the gap between what you make and what you spend is so wide... it's bewildering how people do it.
I think we as humans adapt to our surroundings- America is a real gung ho place...everyone is driven, everyone is ambitious. In my case my drive and ambition drove me right the fuck out of the country....
Someone told me once (when I was in my teens) that the most interesting people he had ever met changed their life at 30. Maybe that has been in the back of my mind this whole time- I don't know...
But I gave up a really lucrative career- and I don't have a fucking clue what for?
I stay genuinely optimistic... and I guess, for the first time in my life, I am discovering faith. Not religious faith- but faith in life- that everything will work out, that whether it is meant to be, or fate or whatever.... but that everything is OK. Everything is alive and breathing and beautiful- and the mother earth will take care of me- and I am in Rome right now- and I feel lucky, and grateful, and humbled by life's possibilities.
And sometimes when I talk to my friends back home- doing their hum drum thing- and they tell me there ain’t jack shit going on... and I ache for that a little- that security, that familiarity... but I was in that for so long. I played it safe for so many years- and I had forgotten about ALL THE THINGS THAT CAN HAPPEN IF YOU STEP OUT THE FRONT DOOR... you know? There’s a whole world out here- and you and I are in it- in a way that we weren't before.
It’s heavy- the weight of the world. And maybe it is a cross to bear- but I bear it gratefully, and gladly. Because playing it safe made me sad. And right now, all this change- doing it THIS HARD CORE is really.... big. And scary (but I think if it wasn't scary it would mean I wasn't paying attention.) And so, I feel happy.
Genuinely happy.
I look up and I see the coliseum. And for a place that saw so many massacres in its history- I cannot covey the stupid happiness that place makes me feel. And I see it everyday. And the traffic- I hated being trapped in a car in LA- I feel like the traffic here is a ballet. And even though it’s so cold sometimes on my Vespa- it is so stirring to be out in the world- on the road… bouncing along on the cobblestone- not cushioned by fancy American absorbent shocks….
You know?
I feel invigorated by the way the light hits the buildings… these buildings that were built 2000 years ago as a celebration and an homage to the empire that was once Rome. I am in love. I am in love with the city.
I had a deep well of sadness in me for a long time living in Los Angeles… vacuous LA… I don’t have that here. ( I don’t fool myself that it can’t return… it just feels so far away right now…)
And it makes me so grateful. And humbled- to be here- present, alive, awake. Stirred.
In truth I feel very much at home in this city. And it feels very right for me. But I am poor for the first time in my life, and that makes me scared. I suppose I can always go home- so I am never without a certain security- but the financial freedom my career afforded me was so wonderful (and I can honestly say- NOT taken for granted- so I am glad I was awake and smelling the roses for the past few years...). But now I am in a city that has basically NYC prices, but where you make (I don't know where, but somewhere real poor, Memphis perhaps?) wages.
And the gap between what you make and what you spend is so wide... it's bewildering how people do it.
I think we as humans adapt to our surroundings- America is a real gung ho place...everyone is driven, everyone is ambitious. In my case my drive and ambition drove me right the fuck out of the country....
Someone told me once (when I was in my teens) that the most interesting people he had ever met changed their life at 30. Maybe that has been in the back of my mind this whole time- I don't know...
But I gave up a really lucrative career- and I don't have a fucking clue what for?
I stay genuinely optimistic... and I guess, for the first time in my life, I am discovering faith. Not religious faith- but faith in life- that everything will work out, that whether it is meant to be, or fate or whatever.... but that everything is OK. Everything is alive and breathing and beautiful- and the mother earth will take care of me- and I am in Rome right now- and I feel lucky, and grateful, and humbled by life's possibilities.
And sometimes when I talk to my friends back home- doing their hum drum thing- and they tell me there ain’t jack shit going on... and I ache for that a little- that security, that familiarity... but I was in that for so long. I played it safe for so many years- and I had forgotten about ALL THE THINGS THAT CAN HAPPEN IF YOU STEP OUT THE FRONT DOOR... you know? There’s a whole world out here- and you and I are in it- in a way that we weren't before.
It’s heavy- the weight of the world. And maybe it is a cross to bear- but I bear it gratefully, and gladly. Because playing it safe made me sad. And right now, all this change- doing it THIS HARD CORE is really.... big. And scary (but I think if it wasn't scary it would mean I wasn't paying attention.) And so, I feel happy.
Genuinely happy.
I look up and I see the coliseum. And for a place that saw so many massacres in its history- I cannot covey the stupid happiness that place makes me feel. And I see it everyday. And the traffic- I hated being trapped in a car in LA- I feel like the traffic here is a ballet. And even though it’s so cold sometimes on my Vespa- it is so stirring to be out in the world- on the road… bouncing along on the cobblestone- not cushioned by fancy American absorbent shocks….
You know?
I feel invigorated by the way the light hits the buildings… these buildings that were built 2000 years ago as a celebration and an homage to the empire that was once Rome. I am in love. I am in love with the city.
I had a deep well of sadness in me for a long time living in Los Angeles… vacuous LA… I don’t have that here. ( I don’t fool myself that it can’t return… it just feels so far away right now…)
And it makes me so grateful. And humbled- to be here- present, alive, awake. Stirred.
DID YOU MISS ME?
3 whole days since I blogged- must be a record….
Anyway- started school on Monday it is TOTALLY FUCKING AWESOME. 4 hours a day- REALLY good school, excellent teachers- it’s gonna work- I can tell. It’s cool, if I keep it up- I’m going to speak Italian. (this is me after 3 days of classes) I am only enrolled for 2 weeks right now- I will extend- have to… but as everything in Rome- it’s expensive. Fuck. But it’s worth it in a way I can’t even explain. I am already speaking a little… it’s so liberating. It’s also nice to have a schedule again- have a little structure to my day.
Made some new friends- been going out and being social… fun stuff.
I really love it here- It’s fucking cold, (really unusually cold for Italy) and I need a job so badly I can’t stand it, but I REALLY feel at home- It just makes sense somehow. I was rereading some blog entries earlier today- from last summer- and the whole time I was so upset that it was all coming to an end. I am so happy I don’t have to leave- it’s so much fun to LIVE here. It’s great.
So I just need the job to fall into place- everything else has done so so gracefully- one thing left to deal with on the list…..
It’ll happen. I just know it.
I found this the other day- and I thought I’d share it.
I wrote this last summer to Damaris in an email. And rereading it now… I am humbled by the great possibilities and luck life has extended to me…
10/12/2004
WHAT I WOULD NEED TO DO TO MOVE TO ROME.
SUBLET APARTMENT
SELL CAR
STORE STUFF
CANCEL CELL PHONE, CAR INSUR…ECT.
PAY DOWN CREDIT CARDS
GET A JOB IN ROME
FIND APARTMENT
BRING CATS
BUY VESPA
LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER CON MI AMORE.
Amazing. Totally amazing.
Thanks for reading.
Anyway- started school on Monday it is TOTALLY FUCKING AWESOME. 4 hours a day- REALLY good school, excellent teachers- it’s gonna work- I can tell. It’s cool, if I keep it up- I’m going to speak Italian. (this is me after 3 days of classes) I am only enrolled for 2 weeks right now- I will extend- have to… but as everything in Rome- it’s expensive. Fuck. But it’s worth it in a way I can’t even explain. I am already speaking a little… it’s so liberating. It’s also nice to have a schedule again- have a little structure to my day.
Made some new friends- been going out and being social… fun stuff.
I really love it here- It’s fucking cold, (really unusually cold for Italy) and I need a job so badly I can’t stand it, but I REALLY feel at home- It just makes sense somehow. I was rereading some blog entries earlier today- from last summer- and the whole time I was so upset that it was all coming to an end. I am so happy I don’t have to leave- it’s so much fun to LIVE here. It’s great.
So I just need the job to fall into place- everything else has done so so gracefully- one thing left to deal with on the list…..
It’ll happen. I just know it.
I found this the other day- and I thought I’d share it.
I wrote this last summer to Damaris in an email. And rereading it now… I am humbled by the great possibilities and luck life has extended to me…
10/12/2004
WHAT I WOULD NEED TO DO TO MOVE TO ROME.
SUBLET APARTMENT
SELL CAR
STORE STUFF
CANCEL CELL PHONE, CAR INSUR…ECT.
PAY DOWN CREDIT CARDS
GET A JOB IN ROME
FIND APARTMENT
BRING CATS
BUY VESPA
LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER CON MI AMORE.
Amazing. Totally amazing.
Thanks for reading.
Monday, February 28, 2005
REAL LIFE
So it’s Monday- enrolled in Italian school this morning…so I will be going to school for several hours each afternoon. Perfect really, still have time to look for a job…which I’m gonna have to really zero in on this week.
Yea, got to get to real life. Ain’t pretty, but it’s true.
Went to a really fun party this weekend, and met some really cool people. The cutest bunch of gay boys ever- who have already called to hang out this week. Love my little gay boys…. And a few very cool women who are good contacts, and seem like they could be friends.
Had a nice weekend. (mom don’t freak out) but I fell on my Vespa. It was wet, I wasn’t going fast- I was actually slowing to a light and my wheel hit a tram track in the st, and the bike just- fell over. It was embarrassing more than anything. My friend Jill was on the back… we are both fine- my knee is a bit bruised, hers is quite swollen, she spent the day on her couch… but other than we are fine. The bike has a small dent and a scratch. Woops. Well, now it’s used.
Fuck it.
Anyway- hope my brother taped the oscars… if not. Fuck it. Doesn’t even matter. It’s just hollywood, and I am beginning to relize it might not be as important as I had previously thought…..
Hummmmm.
Yea, got to get to real life. Ain’t pretty, but it’s true.
Went to a really fun party this weekend, and met some really cool people. The cutest bunch of gay boys ever- who have already called to hang out this week. Love my little gay boys…. And a few very cool women who are good contacts, and seem like they could be friends.
Had a nice weekend. (mom don’t freak out) but I fell on my Vespa. It was wet, I wasn’t going fast- I was actually slowing to a light and my wheel hit a tram track in the st, and the bike just- fell over. It was embarrassing more than anything. My friend Jill was on the back… we are both fine- my knee is a bit bruised, hers is quite swollen, she spent the day on her couch… but other than we are fine. The bike has a small dent and a scratch. Woops. Well, now it’s used.
Fuck it.
Anyway- hope my brother taped the oscars… if not. Fuck it. Doesn’t even matter. It’s just hollywood, and I am beginning to relize it might not be as important as I had previously thought…..
Hummmmm.
REALLY FUNNY
I emailed just about everyone I know about this… but just in case you haven’t heard this…. Listen to this- it is, without a doubt the funniest think I have heard in a very long time.
This is my idea of funny:
click here to laugh
This is my idea of funny:
click here to laugh
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