Man, talk about rags to riches.
My parents have a really nice house. Showers you can turn around in, hot water you can control, TV!! More than one TV, airports for internet, fancy soap in the tray, food in the fridge, garage door clickers… just so much stuff that I have gotten used to life without and it’s wild to be so immersed back into it.
I mean last night I took a bath in a room that is bigger than my bathroom AND kitchen combined….
It’s nice. I can see why I lived here for so long, TV with 500 channels, phone lines, fax machines, Jacuzzi tubs… I get it, I remember. It’s… it’s nice. It is.
It’s making me feel wired. Like I want it all again. But I don’t really…
I mean, yesterday I worked for the first time and I am fucking beat now… I forgot how HARD I worked for the last 10 years, I mean no wonder I moved to Italy to slow down. Don’t get me wrong, the craft service table was awesome, and the free lunch was great… but fuck man, MY BODY HURTS today. Film is really hard work.
But the other thing that happened is that I watched my two friends on a break, one sat down and paid $1500 in bills, and the other pulled out a super fancy new 35mm camera.
There is such a web of making money and spending it and needing and desiring and wanting and have to have new stuff, and car payments, and make a lot and spend a lot… AND FUCKING A. It’s just exhausting.
I guess I feel silly, I lived in this city for 10 years, and in this country for 29 years… I’ve only been gone 4 months… so why then, is this all SO weird? Truth is, I don’t know why, it just kinda is…
I don’t know.
What I do know is that I am going over to Carters house for the last 4 episodes of the OC today with Damaris and then Jamie is throwing a party in my honor tonight. It’s memorial day weekend, as true and American holiday as they come… so I am gonna try not to bug out too hard, hang with my friends and make some money.
Tutti Va bene as they say…
Saturday, May 28, 2005
Monday, May 23, 2005
ONMAWAY
it’s 10:30 and I am going to bed- I have a brutal day of travel ahead of me. Have to get up at 4am. Rome to Frankfurt. Frankfurt to Chicago, then Chicago to LA. Get into LA at 7pm… that’s like, 4am Italy time… blarg. It’s a solid 24 hours of travel. Dio Mio. Fucking hell it’ gonna suck. But I have dollars and euros, so no matter what airport I’m in, I can always get a drink…
I’m beside myself, so excited to see everyone.
See you there.
C
I’m beside myself, so excited to see everyone.
See you there.
C
Sunday, May 22, 2005
FUCK
Man, fuck shit fuck shit fuck.
Argggg.
So irritated. 4 very annoying pieces of information have been brought to my attention: 1. Nikki is going out of town when am home. Unbelievable.. Fuck.
2. Turns out, there’s not going to be a whole lot of work while I am home. Major fuck. 3. I think my unemployment is not going to be renewable for a long time. Really fucking fuck. And 4. My favorite boss, is doing a commercial in southern Italy while I am in the states.
Fucking shit fucker bastard cunt blister shit fuck.
Fuck.
Argggg.
So irritated. 4 very annoying pieces of information have been brought to my attention: 1. Nikki is going out of town when am home. Unbelievable.. Fuck.
2. Turns out, there’s not going to be a whole lot of work while I am home. Major fuck. 3. I think my unemployment is not going to be renewable for a long time. Really fucking fuck. And 4. My favorite boss, is doing a commercial in southern Italy while I am in the states.
Fucking shit fucker bastard cunt blister shit fuck.
Fuck.
Saturday, May 21, 2005
GOOD
So everything is really good. I am totally pumped to go home for a spell, can’t wait to see everyone and eat my foods and see my friends … can’t wait to take a bath, watch basketball, whatever … and all of all these little things. Do some work, make some money… Just, really excited.
Things in Rome are really better than ever. I like my friends so much here. I think I may be making a few worth bothering about. Maybe, we’ll see. Takes a long time to really trust someone doesn’t it? I’ve had all my friends for so many fucking years, I never think about trust… you know? How am I not going to trust these people that I have had by my side for my whole life??? But now, with new people… there is just, so much that is unfamiliar… and that is fine at first.. but a few months down the road… when you find the people you’ve been spending time with and enjoying… sometimes its hard to judge… how well can I trust you? It’s weird.
But there may, actually be some here. Had a good week. After I got out of my weird funk (that lasted for like 4 days…blah) I feel so good. Got a bonus as work for being awesome (smile) and that felt good. And I’ve been having a good time with my friends. Starting to be very included in the community… whatever, it’s nice.
I’m gonna miss Rome. Really gonna miss my cats. That sucks I have to leave them… but, it will be that much sweeter to come back…
Been really writing a lot, I feel like my fingers are glued to the fucking keyboard… like I can’t stop. It’s all crap, dribble really. But can’t stop so fuck it.
Star wars is out, and I can’t FUCKING BELIEVE I haven’t seen it yet, forse domane. (maybe tomorrow).
Anyway. Going to bed now. More soon.
Things in Rome are really better than ever. I like my friends so much here. I think I may be making a few worth bothering about. Maybe, we’ll see. Takes a long time to really trust someone doesn’t it? I’ve had all my friends for so many fucking years, I never think about trust… you know? How am I not going to trust these people that I have had by my side for my whole life??? But now, with new people… there is just, so much that is unfamiliar… and that is fine at first.. but a few months down the road… when you find the people you’ve been spending time with and enjoying… sometimes its hard to judge… how well can I trust you? It’s weird.
But there may, actually be some here. Had a good week. After I got out of my weird funk (that lasted for like 4 days…blah) I feel so good. Got a bonus as work for being awesome (smile) and that felt good. And I’ve been having a good time with my friends. Starting to be very included in the community… whatever, it’s nice.
I’m gonna miss Rome. Really gonna miss my cats. That sucks I have to leave them… but, it will be that much sweeter to come back…
Been really writing a lot, I feel like my fingers are glued to the fucking keyboard… like I can’t stop. It’s all crap, dribble really. But can’t stop so fuck it.
Star wars is out, and I can’t FUCKING BELIEVE I haven’t seen it yet, forse domane. (maybe tomorrow).
Anyway. Going to bed now. More soon.
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
EXCITED/ BOARD/RESTLESS
feel weird. The past week has been so strange. My roommate has been out of town, and I am really excited to go home, and work has really slowed down so I am not that busy…. I feel weird and kinda, well, board.
I don’t really feel like getting all involved or started on a new project because I leave for the states in less than a week. And so I am sleeping in, and not really going out, and just going to work… being a real homebody… and it’s fucking weird as hell. I never stay home this much. But I just don’t wanna go out the front door, I can’t be asked to. It’s strange. (wow, I really am going crazy)
And I am so fucking excited to go home. And it’s kinda freaking me out how much I am looking forward to it. It’s surprises me that I am so excited about it. I’m afraid I am gonna wanna stay or something.
Non-sense- impossible. But still. I’m all twitter-pated and excited about next week- but this week is like, stagnation city.
Stayed up till 4 in the morning watching old Dawson Creeks and last season OC. Seriously… what the fuck is happening to me?
I feel like I am in the calm before the storm. Feels so weird.
I feel like I just wanna get drunk until I go. And I just might. Just drink my way thru this week. If I had the stamina I just might… but that would be so 2001. ha.
Anyway. Have a few errand I have blown off for like 6 days and now I HAVE to do them. So despite the almost rainy weather, I’m going out there today.
Yikes.
I don’t really feel like getting all involved or started on a new project because I leave for the states in less than a week. And so I am sleeping in, and not really going out, and just going to work… being a real homebody… and it’s fucking weird as hell. I never stay home this much. But I just don’t wanna go out the front door, I can’t be asked to. It’s strange. (wow, I really am going crazy)
And I am so fucking excited to go home. And it’s kinda freaking me out how much I am looking forward to it. It’s surprises me that I am so excited about it. I’m afraid I am gonna wanna stay or something.
Non-sense- impossible. But still. I’m all twitter-pated and excited about next week- but this week is like, stagnation city.
Stayed up till 4 in the morning watching old Dawson Creeks and last season OC. Seriously… what the fuck is happening to me?
I feel like I am in the calm before the storm. Feels so weird.
I feel like I just wanna get drunk until I go. And I just might. Just drink my way thru this week. If I had the stamina I just might… but that would be so 2001. ha.
Anyway. Have a few errand I have blown off for like 6 days and now I HAVE to do them. So despite the almost rainy weather, I’m going out there today.
Yikes.
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
LINKAGE
I thought I’d show you some of the shit I have found recently that I enjoyed, laughed at, cringed at.. what-have –you.
This made me laugh
This made me sad.
This man should win an MTV music video award
But not as much asThis guy
This site is UNBELIEVABLE
This is like the funniest thing I have ever seen
This little bitch deserves everything she gets
This man is your president
This is how everyone should clean their computer screen
This is brutal
This is a place to seriously waste some time
This girl is the shit
This woman makes me feel unworthy
This shit is hillarious if you like boston sports
This man is too fucking smart for his own good
This is the best cartoonist I have seen in a long time
There are more… but I think that’s enough for now. Right?
Appologies if you have seen some of them before... but fucking hell, some of them just never get old...
ps: I linked some of these puppies to the sidebar... cuz I'm so fucking snazzy with a computer... so don't get yr undies in a bunch if you get some repeats...
This made me laugh
This made me sad.
This man should win an MTV music video award
But not as much asThis guy
This site is UNBELIEVABLE
This is like the funniest thing I have ever seen
This little bitch deserves everything she gets
This man is your president
This is how everyone should clean their computer screen
This is brutal
This is a place to seriously waste some time
This girl is the shit
This woman makes me feel unworthy
This shit is hillarious if you like boston sports
This man is too fucking smart for his own good
This is the best cartoonist I have seen in a long time
There are more… but I think that’s enough for now. Right?
Appologies if you have seen some of them before... but fucking hell, some of them just never get old...
ps: I linked some of these puppies to the sidebar... cuz I'm so fucking snazzy with a computer... so don't get yr undies in a bunch if you get some repeats...
Monday, May 16, 2005
FAQ
So I have been getting some emails and phone calls recently asking me pretty obvious questions… like, What’s going on? Where are you? Are you OK? And what have you done with Chase, your blog is totally fucking nut ball these days and I feel like you’ve gone crazy. Which, I take as a complement... even if I am crazier than normal.
But alas- here is my FAQ section.
Yes, I am still in Italy. I live here.
Yes, I am staying here. I think.
Yea, I’m fucking dead broke.
No I am not dating the Argentinean/ Italian anymore.
Yes, I still see him, yes we are still friends, yes he still boring as shit, and yes, he will be watching my cats when I leave.
No, I don't know who the crazy anonymous/ catholic people were who made the blog a fun place to be a few weeks back. And ideas? Anyone? Ahh the power of anonimity...
No, I haven’t gotten a raise at work yet, but it has been alluded to the fact that I will.
No, I am not at Cannes Film Festival with my boss, I am instead here in the office, with surprising little to do. And so, I am getting super savvy at surfing the net.
This is not a question, just a fact- I am going to put a bunch of awesome links I have been discovering one of these days for all to peruse.
Yes, I have gone a little nuts. Lack of TV, Cash and close friends is kinda catching up with me. Cannonball!
No I am not dating anyone, but I have had some strange tongues pushing their way in my direction recently. Gross.
The cats are fine. Awesome actually.
And finally- I get to LA next Tuesday the 24th. The party is on Saturday the 28th. (email me for details). I don’t have my ticket back via NYC yet- so stop asking, I don’t know when I will be there. When I do I’ll let you know.
And that’s it.
Normal enough?
Manga Scatola.
C
But alas- here is my FAQ section.
Yes, I am still in Italy. I live here.
Yes, I am staying here. I think.
Yea, I’m fucking dead broke.
No I am not dating the Argentinean/ Italian anymore.
Yes, I still see him, yes we are still friends, yes he still boring as shit, and yes, he will be watching my cats when I leave.
No, I don't know who the crazy anonymous/ catholic people were who made the blog a fun place to be a few weeks back. And ideas? Anyone? Ahh the power of anonimity...
No, I haven’t gotten a raise at work yet, but it has been alluded to the fact that I will.
No, I am not at Cannes Film Festival with my boss, I am instead here in the office, with surprising little to do. And so, I am getting super savvy at surfing the net.
This is not a question, just a fact- I am going to put a bunch of awesome links I have been discovering one of these days for all to peruse.
Yes, I have gone a little nuts. Lack of TV, Cash and close friends is kinda catching up with me. Cannonball!
No I am not dating anyone, but I have had some strange tongues pushing their way in my direction recently. Gross.
The cats are fine. Awesome actually.
And finally- I get to LA next Tuesday the 24th. The party is on Saturday the 28th. (email me for details). I don’t have my ticket back via NYC yet- so stop asking, I don’t know when I will be there. When I do I’ll let you know.
And that’s it.
Normal enough?
Manga Scatola.
C
Friday, May 13, 2005
THE AMERICAN WEIGH
I’ve been in Rome for almost 4 months now, and in all that time I have felt really good about myself. Physically, that is. I haven’t felt fat or heavy or “thick” or whatever. I feel good and it makes me look good. No one talks about diet or carbs or any of that horse shit and mashed potatoes here, and as a result we are all just happy the way we are, and everyone is a heluva lot more laid back about themselves. At least I am.
Why then, does it surprise me, that now that I am going back to Los Angeles, the vainest city on the planet, that I feel the pangs of self consciousness creep back in.
“Fuck man, have I gained weight? Do I look fat, shit, I wonder?… Shit I did, I am fat, fuck….I can’t go home like this, ok- I’m gonna diet for the next two weeks, and exercise…” and my brain goes on and on like this.
How does this happen? And seemingly overnight. One day I am prancing along the street, owning the situation, and the next minute I am checking and double checking the bathroom mirror- examining my faults and shortcomings like a fucking grand jury.
Fucking America.
I’ve decided that America’s obsession with diet and weight is akin to Right Wing Conservative’s obsession with Jesus. And by that, I mean this: Even if you don’t subscribe to their belief, you still somehow feel like maybe you should. Or, that, if you are fat, or say, a heathen- somehow they make you feel wrong for doing your own thing.
Not that I feel wrong- at all. It’s just all a part of that same self righteous, dogmatic bullshit.
If I disagree with the self mutilation someone has to endure to fit into a size 2- I am regarded with the same distasteful looks, as if I walked into Mass and yelled “Jesus is a cunt”
Because- they all look at you as if they know better. Because in America Thin equals healthy. And you should be thin, because it will be better for you in the long run. Which to me, makes about as much sense as embracing Jesus in my heart will be better for me in the long run.
Says who? What the fuck kind of logic is that? Seriously.
And both are sold to me with equal amounts of zeal and fervor.
Which makes me want to use a purely California phrase- GAG ME WITH A FUCKING SPOON.
So I can know all this- and I can think esoterically about weight and size and self consciousness, and even Jesus. BUT. Can I put those thoughts into action in the next few weeks while I am in the devils mouth?
We’ll see. We shall see.
Ciao box.
Why then, does it surprise me, that now that I am going back to Los Angeles, the vainest city on the planet, that I feel the pangs of self consciousness creep back in.
“Fuck man, have I gained weight? Do I look fat, shit, I wonder?… Shit I did, I am fat, fuck….I can’t go home like this, ok- I’m gonna diet for the next two weeks, and exercise…” and my brain goes on and on like this.
How does this happen? And seemingly overnight. One day I am prancing along the street, owning the situation, and the next minute I am checking and double checking the bathroom mirror- examining my faults and shortcomings like a fucking grand jury.
Fucking America.
I’ve decided that America’s obsession with diet and weight is akin to Right Wing Conservative’s obsession with Jesus. And by that, I mean this: Even if you don’t subscribe to their belief, you still somehow feel like maybe you should. Or, that, if you are fat, or say, a heathen- somehow they make you feel wrong for doing your own thing.
Not that I feel wrong- at all. It’s just all a part of that same self righteous, dogmatic bullshit.
If I disagree with the self mutilation someone has to endure to fit into a size 2- I am regarded with the same distasteful looks, as if I walked into Mass and yelled “Jesus is a cunt”
Because- they all look at you as if they know better. Because in America Thin equals healthy. And you should be thin, because it will be better for you in the long run. Which to me, makes about as much sense as embracing Jesus in my heart will be better for me in the long run.
Says who? What the fuck kind of logic is that? Seriously.
And both are sold to me with equal amounts of zeal and fervor.
Which makes me want to use a purely California phrase- GAG ME WITH A FUCKING SPOON.
So I can know all this- and I can think esoterically about weight and size and self consciousness, and even Jesus. BUT. Can I put those thoughts into action in the next few weeks while I am in the devils mouth?
We’ll see. We shall see.
Ciao box.
Thursday, May 12, 2005
CONFESSIONS OF AN ADDICT
There are a few things that, admittedly I don’t like to live without. Cigarettes come to mind, (been smoking way longer than I care to think about). Chocolate, (I gave it up for lent… come on…). Alcohol (addiction is an ugly word), and finally The OC.
The OC is that terrible TV show that is running rampant thru the neilson ratings in the US. AND I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT IT. My brother, (god bless him) has been taping the shows for me ever since I left the states. And my mother (god bless her) has been sending them to me. The two of them should be sainted for keeping me in my junkie state.
It’s pretty pathetic, I know. Carter (brother) tapes them on to mini DV tapes and mom ships them over here, where I, hook my DV camera up to my computer and watch them in imovie. It doesn’t even fill the whole screen…. And yet, every couple of weeks when a new batch of tapes arrive, I sit down with a glass of wine, a pack of smokes, a bunch of chocolate, AND I INDULGE.
Oh man, it’s really the greatest fucking thing in the world. Sincerely. Now, initially, in my first month here I got real freaked out watching the commercials. The show didn’t bother me, to the contrary, the show was like my fix.. couldn’t get enough. But the ads haunted me… like they were from a world I just wanted to be away from. Advertisements, work, the debasement of the soul. You know, all things American. It freaked me out to see upcoming shows on Fox, that I would never watch, news clips of the Michael Jackson case… old movie trailers. (realize, I am getting these tapes several weeks after they have aired).
I got this weird spooky feeling of being at home, watching those tapes. Like for a few hours I was back at home, on my couch, eating Chinese take out with Damaris, and I wasn’t a foreigner. Like everything out my front door was normal, understood, familiar. But then, the shows would end, and I would think- holy shit, I’M STILL IN ITALY. Weird.
Maybe I’m getting used to it, maybe I don’t feel like such a foreigner anymore, maybe it’s because I am going home in 2 weeks. But I just watched three blissful hours of the OC, and that feeling is gone.
I’m no longer haunted by the “Big Ford Tough” commercials. I have found a new appreciation for them. As if now, after only 3 and a half months, I am detached enough… like maybe I am starting to appreciate the states again.
Or maybe I’m just not homesick anymore, and I can see it all for what it is and enjoy it.
But when the show starts and that fucking California song comes on… I swear my heart soars. I FUCKING LOVE IT.
And I know the show is fucking garbage. A lot like cigarettes, and booze, and lets face it chocolate. But I don’t give a rat’s ass. I fucking live for it.
God bless it. (that one was for you anonymous).
The OC is that terrible TV show that is running rampant thru the neilson ratings in the US. AND I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT IT. My brother, (god bless him) has been taping the shows for me ever since I left the states. And my mother (god bless her) has been sending them to me. The two of them should be sainted for keeping me in my junkie state.
It’s pretty pathetic, I know. Carter (brother) tapes them on to mini DV tapes and mom ships them over here, where I, hook my DV camera up to my computer and watch them in imovie. It doesn’t even fill the whole screen…. And yet, every couple of weeks when a new batch of tapes arrive, I sit down with a glass of wine, a pack of smokes, a bunch of chocolate, AND I INDULGE.
Oh man, it’s really the greatest fucking thing in the world. Sincerely. Now, initially, in my first month here I got real freaked out watching the commercials. The show didn’t bother me, to the contrary, the show was like my fix.. couldn’t get enough. But the ads haunted me… like they were from a world I just wanted to be away from. Advertisements, work, the debasement of the soul. You know, all things American. It freaked me out to see upcoming shows on Fox, that I would never watch, news clips of the Michael Jackson case… old movie trailers. (realize, I am getting these tapes several weeks after they have aired).
I got this weird spooky feeling of being at home, watching those tapes. Like for a few hours I was back at home, on my couch, eating Chinese take out with Damaris, and I wasn’t a foreigner. Like everything out my front door was normal, understood, familiar. But then, the shows would end, and I would think- holy shit, I’M STILL IN ITALY. Weird.
Maybe I’m getting used to it, maybe I don’t feel like such a foreigner anymore, maybe it’s because I am going home in 2 weeks. But I just watched three blissful hours of the OC, and that feeling is gone.
I’m no longer haunted by the “Big Ford Tough” commercials. I have found a new appreciation for them. As if now, after only 3 and a half months, I am detached enough… like maybe I am starting to appreciate the states again.
Or maybe I’m just not homesick anymore, and I can see it all for what it is and enjoy it.
But when the show starts and that fucking California song comes on… I swear my heart soars. I FUCKING LOVE IT.
And I know the show is fucking garbage. A lot like cigarettes, and booze, and lets face it chocolate. But I don’t give a rat’s ass. I fucking live for it.
God bless it. (that one was for you anonymous).
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
DECISION
It’s so hard to plan anything in my life… everything is so fucking up in the air… well it’s a bit god-dam exhausting.
But after a phone call with my mother and Nikki (in which my voice flew around the car like a creepy ghost and the two of them spoke pointedly into the steering wheel)… I made a decision. Which was cemented by spending money on a rental car so I guess it’s official.
I AM COMING TO LOS ANGELES FOR TWO WEEKS(ish). Hoo-ray. And, as if that’s not fun as hell- I will also be coming thru NYC for two days… so halijefuckingluja,… I get to see my fucking peeps.
The decision was made for a number of reasons- some long and convoluted- but briefly they are as a follows:
- I already have a flight going back on the 24th of May which I cannot change- so I might as well use it.
- My parents are about to sell their beautiful house in LA, and this may be the last time I get to see it
- There is allegedly “a fucking ton of work” (which you know will dry up the day I arrive)… and I am hoping to go and partake of that paprika.
- My need for sushi and a burrito has become unmanageable
- My parent have generously offered to help my with a return ticket to Rome (hoo-ray!!!!!)
- My tourist visa has expired, so I need to travel anyway- might as well go somewhere, where there is a potential to make $$$$$
- I just rented a car there for two weeks- so now I have to go
- And finally because I want to. And I do things I want to- because life is an occasion. And I believe in rising to it.
And so there it is. Chase will be in LA from May 24th to June 5/6th ish (depending on work) and then I will go to NYC for 2 days on my way home to Roma.
I am actually really excited- I will be going home with two empty suitcases so I can bring massive amounts of shit back- I want things like my airport and art and summer clothes, and some books and oh man…my 35mm camera…cheddar cheese…my jean jacket.. oh man lots of shit. That being said I also plan to bring ALL MY UNDERWEAR AND SOX- so they can be washed and made “only in America” brand dryer soft…. Ahhhhh.
Plus it is worth noting that in the time since I have left- basically everything that could have gone wrong in America has. And by that I mean this:
- I am being audited for the year 2003
- I got jury duty
- My unemployment is under review for fraud…
So- it’s kinda time to go home and deal with some of that shit in person… you know.
So it’s good. All will be OK here in Rome. Cats will be tended to thanks to a kind roommate, and an even kinder ex-boyfriend Alejandro.
And it’s only a few weeks- and my boss says I can still work for him in LA… so it seems like it’s gonna work.
Yea.
I most look forward to being in a bar- and looking around and realizing, not only do I know everyone in it- BUT I LOVE THEM. (be careful what you wish for Chase…you seem to be getting it these days).
Such a lucky girl I am. A lucky girl indeed.
But after a phone call with my mother and Nikki (in which my voice flew around the car like a creepy ghost and the two of them spoke pointedly into the steering wheel)… I made a decision. Which was cemented by spending money on a rental car so I guess it’s official.
I AM COMING TO LOS ANGELES FOR TWO WEEKS(ish). Hoo-ray. And, as if that’s not fun as hell- I will also be coming thru NYC for two days… so halijefuckingluja,… I get to see my fucking peeps.
The decision was made for a number of reasons- some long and convoluted- but briefly they are as a follows:
- I already have a flight going back on the 24th of May which I cannot change- so I might as well use it.
- My parents are about to sell their beautiful house in LA, and this may be the last time I get to see it
- There is allegedly “a fucking ton of work” (which you know will dry up the day I arrive)… and I am hoping to go and partake of that paprika.
- My need for sushi and a burrito has become unmanageable
- My parent have generously offered to help my with a return ticket to Rome (hoo-ray!!!!!)
- My tourist visa has expired, so I need to travel anyway- might as well go somewhere, where there is a potential to make $$$$$
- I just rented a car there for two weeks- so now I have to go
- And finally because I want to. And I do things I want to- because life is an occasion. And I believe in rising to it.
And so there it is. Chase will be in LA from May 24th to June 5/6th ish (depending on work) and then I will go to NYC for 2 days on my way home to Roma.
I am actually really excited- I will be going home with two empty suitcases so I can bring massive amounts of shit back- I want things like my airport and art and summer clothes, and some books and oh man…my 35mm camera…cheddar cheese…my jean jacket.. oh man lots of shit. That being said I also plan to bring ALL MY UNDERWEAR AND SOX- so they can be washed and made “only in America” brand dryer soft…. Ahhhhh.
Plus it is worth noting that in the time since I have left- basically everything that could have gone wrong in America has. And by that I mean this:
- I am being audited for the year 2003
- I got jury duty
- My unemployment is under review for fraud…
So- it’s kinda time to go home and deal with some of that shit in person… you know.
So it’s good. All will be OK here in Rome. Cats will be tended to thanks to a kind roommate, and an even kinder ex-boyfriend Alejandro.
And it’s only a few weeks- and my boss says I can still work for him in LA… so it seems like it’s gonna work.
Yea.
I most look forward to being in a bar- and looking around and realizing, not only do I know everyone in it- BUT I LOVE THEM. (be careful what you wish for Chase…you seem to be getting it these days).
Such a lucky girl I am. A lucky girl indeed.
Monday, May 02, 2005
IT'S IN THE AIR
Fucking hell man- spring is here! Full force- full on. Actually Europe is having a bit of a heat wave- and it’s fucking great! Although I can sense the underlying heat that is on it’s way… (Rome summers are kinda like NYC summers hot, sticky, horrible- you know, your basic nightmare…) it hasn’t yet arrived. Right now it is just delicious and lovely… I spent the whole of Sunday chilling in Ville Pamphille- the most exquisite park I have ever seen.
I guess I had gotten into a bit of a schedule… go here, eat there, visit friends… it had been a while since I had gotten on Luigi (the Vespa) and just gone out for a drive. Didn’t realize the park I was trying to find was on a hill- and on the way there I got the most unbelievable view of Rome… (and of course didn’t have my camera- bitch). Then once I got there- holy shit, fountains and lakes and tall grass- more like a field of wild flowers than a park with short cut grass- all over grown and wild, and water falls… it was breathtaking…. Rome is so good like that- give her a chance to show you something new, and boy does she deliver… it’s amazing.
So my new job is kinda great… we are still figuring out exactly what my roll is- but so far I have been reading scripts of unmade films and writing coverage (synopsis/ comments/ review) of them. It’s kinda of the greatest job ever. We’ll see if I can’t parlay it into something else- bigger better, but it’s pretty dope for now.
Also got another job that is super part time- only 2 weeks this summer- being a tour director for EF tours- so at some point in the beginning of June I will take 40 or so Canadian and US teenagers all over Italy- or something like that. (now these kids have teachers, chaperones ect- and we have local tour guides everywhere we go… I just kind of take them around… coordinate the thing- basically I get to travel Italy and get paid for it- doesn’t sound too bad right?) Technically could be anywhere in Europe/ the world- but I have a feeling for my first tour I will just get Italy… Could be amazing… we’ll see.
Been trying to arrange a trip home to work and make some cashish for a few weeks in may/ june… but I don’t think that’s gonna happen now. Quite simply it’s not worth it financially. After airfare, car rental, taxes and the fucking euro exchange- I’ve basically traveled a long way for not so much… so I don’t know. Thinking I’m gonna resign my lease till September- but without a jobby job where I am making real money I can’t tell if that’s stupid or not. My roommate is into it- so we might just go for it.
As of this morning I am officially in Italy illegally- the tourist visa expired today- which means I have officially been here 3 months. So I am going to go to London in the next few weeks- it’s not technically outside of the EU- but it is enough of a trip that I can talk my way out of any problems that might arise if I was stopped- never made a whole trip just to get a stamp on the passport. Think it’ll be fun… gonna get to see some friends that live in London- and of course go to the greatest museum of all time- the Tate Modern…. Plus- SUSHI!!!!!! Wow- that literally just occurred to me. CAN'T FUCKING WAIT.
Have to say- Italians hate anything that is not Italian food- and I mean yea- Italian food is awesome- no doubt- but good lord man- mama wants a fucking burrito- or a kebab, or some pad thai and mother fuck- MY KINGDOM FOR A SPICY TUNA ROLL. There IS some sushi… but it’s really expensive and not so good. And although I love Italian… it’s just, after a while… come on. Yes…. I think London will be good. Yum.
Enjoying my friends here more and more. This weekend was fun- went out (in a far more moderate manner than last weekend…) and just, had a really good time.
Can’t remember if I wrote about this or not- but back in February I had a going away party in LA. And I remember looking around and thinking- I know every single person in this bar. And more than that I have history and I LOVE all these people so much. And I just felt so safe, and so at home… albeit ready to move on- still so at home.
Well this weekend, as I sat in Finnegan’s- my local haunt, I looked around and I realized- I knew almost everyone in the bar. And while I don’t love them as much- or in some cases even at all, and I certainly don’t have the history with them… I still kinda felt at home- this weird home away from home. Because in this place we are all ex-pats, we are all removed and estranged. And I feel like in a land where they really don’t accept foreigners all that much- we have banded together. As if finding no nucleus to which we could cling, we have become a nucleus ourselves.
And I feel included, and a part of it.
And it’s pretty fucking sweet.
So anyway- more later- as always- till the next time- I will remain
Chase.
I guess I had gotten into a bit of a schedule… go here, eat there, visit friends… it had been a while since I had gotten on Luigi (the Vespa) and just gone out for a drive. Didn’t realize the park I was trying to find was on a hill- and on the way there I got the most unbelievable view of Rome… (and of course didn’t have my camera- bitch). Then once I got there- holy shit, fountains and lakes and tall grass- more like a field of wild flowers than a park with short cut grass- all over grown and wild, and water falls… it was breathtaking…. Rome is so good like that- give her a chance to show you something new, and boy does she deliver… it’s amazing.
So my new job is kinda great… we are still figuring out exactly what my roll is- but so far I have been reading scripts of unmade films and writing coverage (synopsis/ comments/ review) of them. It’s kinda of the greatest job ever. We’ll see if I can’t parlay it into something else- bigger better, but it’s pretty dope for now.
Also got another job that is super part time- only 2 weeks this summer- being a tour director for EF tours- so at some point in the beginning of June I will take 40 or so Canadian and US teenagers all over Italy- or something like that. (now these kids have teachers, chaperones ect- and we have local tour guides everywhere we go… I just kind of take them around… coordinate the thing- basically I get to travel Italy and get paid for it- doesn’t sound too bad right?) Technically could be anywhere in Europe/ the world- but I have a feeling for my first tour I will just get Italy… Could be amazing… we’ll see.
Been trying to arrange a trip home to work and make some cashish for a few weeks in may/ june… but I don’t think that’s gonna happen now. Quite simply it’s not worth it financially. After airfare, car rental, taxes and the fucking euro exchange- I’ve basically traveled a long way for not so much… so I don’t know. Thinking I’m gonna resign my lease till September- but without a jobby job where I am making real money I can’t tell if that’s stupid or not. My roommate is into it- so we might just go for it.
As of this morning I am officially in Italy illegally- the tourist visa expired today- which means I have officially been here 3 months. So I am going to go to London in the next few weeks- it’s not technically outside of the EU- but it is enough of a trip that I can talk my way out of any problems that might arise if I was stopped- never made a whole trip just to get a stamp on the passport. Think it’ll be fun… gonna get to see some friends that live in London- and of course go to the greatest museum of all time- the Tate Modern…. Plus- SUSHI!!!!!! Wow- that literally just occurred to me. CAN'T FUCKING WAIT.
Have to say- Italians hate anything that is not Italian food- and I mean yea- Italian food is awesome- no doubt- but good lord man- mama wants a fucking burrito- or a kebab, or some pad thai and mother fuck- MY KINGDOM FOR A SPICY TUNA ROLL. There IS some sushi… but it’s really expensive and not so good. And although I love Italian… it’s just, after a while… come on. Yes…. I think London will be good. Yum.
Enjoying my friends here more and more. This weekend was fun- went out (in a far more moderate manner than last weekend…) and just, had a really good time.
Can’t remember if I wrote about this or not- but back in February I had a going away party in LA. And I remember looking around and thinking- I know every single person in this bar. And more than that I have history and I LOVE all these people so much. And I just felt so safe, and so at home… albeit ready to move on- still so at home.
Well this weekend, as I sat in Finnegan’s- my local haunt, I looked around and I realized- I knew almost everyone in the bar. And while I don’t love them as much- or in some cases even at all, and I certainly don’t have the history with them… I still kinda felt at home- this weird home away from home. Because in this place we are all ex-pats, we are all removed and estranged. And I feel like in a land where they really don’t accept foreigners all that much- we have banded together. As if finding no nucleus to which we could cling, we have become a nucleus ourselves.
And I feel included, and a part of it.
And it’s pretty fucking sweet.
So anyway- more later- as always- till the next time- I will remain
Chase.
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
SURVIVOR
Well, I survived my first day of work relatively unscathed. It’s not so bad- fuck man 4 hours a day- NO PROBLEM. I really like my boss- he’s super fucking cool, really smart, and I think he might actually like me. And by that I mean this- he sort buys the act- he gets it.
I mean here’s the thing- a friend of a friend calls a friend who calls this guy who say “you gotta meet her” Now, I don’t know this dude for shit, and he doesn’t know me- but I walk a few weeks ago, and do my best” I’m so fabulous you don’t even know what to do with yourself” and he buys it. Awesome.
Thing is- now I’ve talked my way into this job, and suddenly he and I are looking at each other, like, now what? It’s kinda great. So I am just learning the ropes, keeping my self busy with little shit- re-organizing them (or as I put it to him- bringing your office up to the 21st century man)… you know- fixing their pathetic excel programs that have address, phone list- this type of thing.
But at days end he brought me into his office- gave me some treatments to read, a book to read that we have been approached to finance, and a script to check out. I think he know I am wasting my time answering his phone- but it’s cool, cuz he sees that.
So I don’t know. I mean, I never fancied myself as a film distributor/ financer/ pencil pusher/ festival goer type. But maybe I could try it on for a while.
At least it’s a job, and at least its in film… and at least It doesn’t suck.
Beyond that- had a pretty tough weekend… got completely freaked out and super duper homesick- like- was ready to pack it in homesick. Haven’t felt that way before- and it was really jarring. Luckily for me- I have a few women in my life that make everything so much better with a phone call… you know who are- I couldn’t live without you.
So I invested in the healing properties of flowers, buying myself dinner, and giving myself time to think it all thru. Gave myself a morning to discover a new church with two GORGEOUS Caravaggio paintings in it… and you know…. Try to calm myself.
I just can’t believe how out of focus everything still is- I really thought would be getting clearer for me… but it’s not- it’s so wild. So again- chilling, biding time, staying the course.
We’ll see. We’ll see.
PS: HAPPY BIRTHDAY KP....
I mean here’s the thing- a friend of a friend calls a friend who calls this guy who say “you gotta meet her” Now, I don’t know this dude for shit, and he doesn’t know me- but I walk a few weeks ago, and do my best” I’m so fabulous you don’t even know what to do with yourself” and he buys it. Awesome.
Thing is- now I’ve talked my way into this job, and suddenly he and I are looking at each other, like, now what? It’s kinda great. So I am just learning the ropes, keeping my self busy with little shit- re-organizing them (or as I put it to him- bringing your office up to the 21st century man)… you know- fixing their pathetic excel programs that have address, phone list- this type of thing.
But at days end he brought me into his office- gave me some treatments to read, a book to read that we have been approached to finance, and a script to check out. I think he know I am wasting my time answering his phone- but it’s cool, cuz he sees that.
So I don’t know. I mean, I never fancied myself as a film distributor/ financer/ pencil pusher/ festival goer type. But maybe I could try it on for a while.
At least it’s a job, and at least its in film… and at least It doesn’t suck.
Beyond that- had a pretty tough weekend… got completely freaked out and super duper homesick- like- was ready to pack it in homesick. Haven’t felt that way before- and it was really jarring. Luckily for me- I have a few women in my life that make everything so much better with a phone call… you know who are- I couldn’t live without you.
So I invested in the healing properties of flowers, buying myself dinner, and giving myself time to think it all thru. Gave myself a morning to discover a new church with two GORGEOUS Caravaggio paintings in it… and you know…. Try to calm myself.
I just can’t believe how out of focus everything still is- I really thought would be getting clearer for me… but it’s not- it’s so wild. So again- chilling, biding time, staying the course.
We’ll see. We’ll see.
PS: HAPPY BIRTHDAY KP....
Sunday, April 24, 2005
FUCKING HELL MAN
Well- I got a job. Still can’t decide if it’s a good thing or not. I’m grateful that I FINALLY got a job- but good lord man I have loved not working and the thought of going to work on Tuesday kinda blows… it’s just in the afternoons- 4 to 8. And it IS in film. I am working as an assistant at Medusa (Italy’s largest film distribution company). So basically I am an asset because I am from LA and know film- and finally all of those years of reading the trades are finally going to be put to use.
The money is, ahemm. Not so good. Let me put it this way, I will make LESS in a month than what I used to in a day.
Tough stuff. Truly. But the upshot is- everyone in the office only really speaks Italian- so it is time for me to sack the fuck up in a serious way and start talking and dealing. Scary.
I was given the job as a favor… they don’t really need anyone- so I am going to reorganize the office for them to start. They actually still keep all their addresses in a paper book. It’s fucking archaic. So I am going to EXCEL my brains out and whip up a little program to ease their life- then I will flirt my way to a promotion and all will be well in the world.
Actually I’ll probably quit before I grow to care about the place. I have been thinking rather seriously about coming back to the states for a few weeks in May/ June to work in the film buis and MAKE SOME REAL MONEY. I am trying to imagine a life where I do one month in LA, three in Rome. Is that possible? It just might be. I don’t know. There are a lot of issues to be addressed. But as the financial situation tightens it’s grip- I am FORCED to make some decisions.
As a result of said job- I had to cancel my plans to spend the week in Tuscany. Fuck. It’s all right. Rome just won’t let me go yet. What can I say?
Had a totally wild weekend- went to bed at noon on Saturday morning. Gotta love those Irish boys- they love to party.
Had a bunch of fun getting involved into some religious banter on the last blog. If you haven’t seen the comments on the last entry- I recommend it. It is by far the most interesting thing that has occurred on this site in a long while. Maybe ever. Don’t know who my anonymous friend is- but I say bravo to them.
Beyond that- the rapsinger is our new pope- and I am looking forward to his CD release party- celebrating his new singe “OG Vaticano- the birth of a papal Gangsta”… it’s gonna be off the hook.
Hope your all well.
Xoxo
C
The money is, ahemm. Not so good. Let me put it this way, I will make LESS in a month than what I used to in a day.
Tough stuff. Truly. But the upshot is- everyone in the office only really speaks Italian- so it is time for me to sack the fuck up in a serious way and start talking and dealing. Scary.
I was given the job as a favor… they don’t really need anyone- so I am going to reorganize the office for them to start. They actually still keep all their addresses in a paper book. It’s fucking archaic. So I am going to EXCEL my brains out and whip up a little program to ease their life- then I will flirt my way to a promotion and all will be well in the world.
Actually I’ll probably quit before I grow to care about the place. I have been thinking rather seriously about coming back to the states for a few weeks in May/ June to work in the film buis and MAKE SOME REAL MONEY. I am trying to imagine a life where I do one month in LA, three in Rome. Is that possible? It just might be. I don’t know. There are a lot of issues to be addressed. But as the financial situation tightens it’s grip- I am FORCED to make some decisions.
As a result of said job- I had to cancel my plans to spend the week in Tuscany. Fuck. It’s all right. Rome just won’t let me go yet. What can I say?
Had a totally wild weekend- went to bed at noon on Saturday morning. Gotta love those Irish boys- they love to party.
Had a bunch of fun getting involved into some religious banter on the last blog. If you haven’t seen the comments on the last entry- I recommend it. It is by far the most interesting thing that has occurred on this site in a long while. Maybe ever. Don’t know who my anonymous friend is- but I say bravo to them.
Beyond that- the rapsinger is our new pope- and I am looking forward to his CD release party- celebrating his new singe “OG Vaticano- the birth of a papal Gangsta”… it’s gonna be off the hook.
Hope your all well.
Xoxo
C
Thursday, April 21, 2005
SCRAMBLED EGGS BENEDICT XVI
Well- the cardinals have really done it this time. They found themselves a safely insane conservative kraut to head the “New Roman Catholic Church” good luck fuckers- your gonna need it. Way to fuck it up boys… like I give a shit… everyone here is so concerned with choosing the right guy- a man who can keep the young people in the church, continue what JPII did… and I was right there with em… it’s important… than, at some point I was like- what the fuck am I talking about?… I hate the Catholic church- AIDS is a huge fucking problem- AND IT’S THEIR FAULT… homosexuals are still fucking in bushes- AND IT’S CUZ OF THEM- and chicks still can’t be a ordained (which is OUR fault actually- fuck man, I got ordained online in like- 5 minutes… you don’t need a bunch of old men in robes panting over 14 year old boys to be a reverend- take it from me.)
A Highlight- (or something like that) I was giving my usually “tour of the city” to Susan and Ian Eastman (wife and son of The Late Great Bob Eastman)… we did the Spanish steps, and the pantheon, and as we were just finishing our wine in the Piazza Navona- all the bells started ringing- I mean- every fucking bell in the city… it was 6:10- no time for normal bells- this only meant one thing- so we jumped up and started a running towards St. Peters- it was amazing- everyone- closing shops and just hauling ass over there. We lost Ian and his camera- he would be fine. And then- Susan, god bless tripped and broke her fucking foot.
I’m not joking. First day on her 10 day vacation- and she broke her goddamn foot.
She was a trooper- she walked all the way up to the square- we heard the announcement- saw little beneDICK come out and greet the crowd- then I took her home and got her drunk. Ahh, the healing properties of gin and tonic.
So- The two of them spend most of yesterday in the hospital getting x-rays and a cast put on…. So in true form for them- they are remembering, and learning- to truly, LET GO OF EXPECTATIONS. Fucking hell man- with all they have been thru the two of them are such champs, they are, as we speak with my friend Zoe on a WALKING tour of the coliseum, forum, and the historic center. She may go slow- but she’s still going.
Think I have decided to join them- in their rental car and go up north to Tuscany- to their 5 bedroom rented Villa for a few days. My roommate can watch the pussys, and I could use a little time out of the city- so fuck it, I think I’m gonna do it. Haven’t been out of Rome in ages- and I’ve never been to Pisa or Siena…. So Imma do it. Woo-hoo right?
And with one final note- there is hope for us bastard ex-pats after all- my roommate Penelope, got a job today- a proper job with UK SKY TV- it’s great- good money, travel, the whole nine… she’s gonna get to stay in Italy- and wants to stay in the apartment.
So there’s hope for a couple of over qualified bitches living in the eternal city…. there’s hope.
And fucking hell man there better be, because in the words of an old friend named Hunter- “we’re doing important work here man.”
A Highlight- (or something like that) I was giving my usually “tour of the city” to Susan and Ian Eastman (wife and son of The Late Great Bob Eastman)… we did the Spanish steps, and the pantheon, and as we were just finishing our wine in the Piazza Navona- all the bells started ringing- I mean- every fucking bell in the city… it was 6:10- no time for normal bells- this only meant one thing- so we jumped up and started a running towards St. Peters- it was amazing- everyone- closing shops and just hauling ass over there. We lost Ian and his camera- he would be fine. And then- Susan, god bless tripped and broke her fucking foot.
I’m not joking. First day on her 10 day vacation- and she broke her goddamn foot.
She was a trooper- she walked all the way up to the square- we heard the announcement- saw little beneDICK come out and greet the crowd- then I took her home and got her drunk. Ahh, the healing properties of gin and tonic.
So- The two of them spend most of yesterday in the hospital getting x-rays and a cast put on…. So in true form for them- they are remembering, and learning- to truly, LET GO OF EXPECTATIONS. Fucking hell man- with all they have been thru the two of them are such champs, they are, as we speak with my friend Zoe on a WALKING tour of the coliseum, forum, and the historic center. She may go slow- but she’s still going.
Think I have decided to join them- in their rental car and go up north to Tuscany- to their 5 bedroom rented Villa for a few days. My roommate can watch the pussys, and I could use a little time out of the city- so fuck it, I think I’m gonna do it. Haven’t been out of Rome in ages- and I’ve never been to Pisa or Siena…. So Imma do it. Woo-hoo right?
And with one final note- there is hope for us bastard ex-pats after all- my roommate Penelope, got a job today- a proper job with UK SKY TV- it’s great- good money, travel, the whole nine… she’s gonna get to stay in Italy- and wants to stay in the apartment.
So there’s hope for a couple of over qualified bitches living in the eternal city…. there’s hope.
And fucking hell man there better be, because in the words of an old friend named Hunter- “we’re doing important work here man.”
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
UNTITLED
So I have so much to say- and I have to be honest- I can’t be fucked to say any of it. So here are some of the basics.
BLACK SMOKE. Funniest shit I have ever seen in my whole life. When the smoke first started to come out of the chimney- it was white… and oh man people were crying and looking at each other in disbelief… oh happy day! There is a new pope! It only took one day! It’s a miracle! And mother fuck if the smoke didn’t turn black. I haven’t laughed that hard- shit, since the last pope died- it was fucking funny as hell…. It was like the greatest April fools joke of all time. 100,000 people all at the same time- noooooo…. God damn I almost snorted gelato out of my nose it was so funny.
FOOTBALL. Went to my first European football game. Roma vs. Regginna. Reggina sucks and they were supposed to loose- but fucking hell Rome did. They're crap if you ask me... but then, so is the sport. The aptly named Stadio Olimpico is the old Olympic stadium from the 60’s. It‘s a bit worse for the wear- but the game was pretty fun. Went with the roommate and a friend- NO BOOZE at the stadium… pretty low budge if you ask me… they do however sell espresso but the fucking gallon full… strange food fare at the Roman football game- no pizza as one might expect- hot dogs (or at least a pretty brutal version thereof) espresso, soda- (all made by Virgin- like the airline… fucking vertical integration…)…. But there are some espressos with Rum in it… you would have to drink about 50 to feel any effects and by then you’d have so much fucking caffeine in your system you’d probably be dead anyway. But the truth is- Italians don’t hold their liquor well- and they are so pumped up anyway- with all the rioting that happens on a regular basis at those game… probably better not to feed em liquor anyway. Highlights include a mascot who looked more like a drowned sewer rat, a couple of big smoke bomb motherfuckers- some flares, and a fuck load of riot police. I was hoping for a big fuck all riot… but they didn’t deliver… fucking Italians.
CARAVAGGIO. Have decidedly fallen in love withthe bastard- and I love his life story… what a criminal he used to be! He used prostitutes and drunks as models for the Virgin Mary and shit… totally awesome- His art is all over the city- and I have made it my mission in the next few weeks to see it all. Project!
UNEMPLOYED BLISS. Do I really need to explain that?
FREE AND EASY. Bit of a play on the last one- but ahh the joys of discovering what can be done on a budget. And really- truth is, I am at my happiest when I am on my Vespa, driving madly, ipod blaring in search of some obscure church on the edge of town. Turns out- I’m pretty easy to please.
FUCKIN COLD. Sick of this ass fuck cold weather- it keeps threatening to be warm- but it almost always turns out to be cold and shit fuck rain crap. Blahhhhhhhh.
OTHER THAN THAT. All systems go. Shit is good- I am poor- happy, just chilling. If I can’t get a job, and therefore can’t stay- gonna make the most of this- see as much as I can, spend my days seeing shit, nights reading about it- checking out the whole pope situ… you know. Do what I can while I can. And the rest- will work itself out- or it wont. I feel pretty lax about the whole thing though.
You know. Fuck it.
BLACK SMOKE. Funniest shit I have ever seen in my whole life. When the smoke first started to come out of the chimney- it was white… and oh man people were crying and looking at each other in disbelief… oh happy day! There is a new pope! It only took one day! It’s a miracle! And mother fuck if the smoke didn’t turn black. I haven’t laughed that hard- shit, since the last pope died- it was fucking funny as hell…. It was like the greatest April fools joke of all time. 100,000 people all at the same time- noooooo…. God damn I almost snorted gelato out of my nose it was so funny.
FOOTBALL. Went to my first European football game. Roma vs. Regginna. Reggina sucks and they were supposed to loose- but fucking hell Rome did. They're crap if you ask me... but then, so is the sport. The aptly named Stadio Olimpico is the old Olympic stadium from the 60’s. It‘s a bit worse for the wear- but the game was pretty fun. Went with the roommate and a friend- NO BOOZE at the stadium… pretty low budge if you ask me… they do however sell espresso but the fucking gallon full… strange food fare at the Roman football game- no pizza as one might expect- hot dogs (or at least a pretty brutal version thereof) espresso, soda- (all made by Virgin- like the airline… fucking vertical integration…)…. But there are some espressos with Rum in it… you would have to drink about 50 to feel any effects and by then you’d have so much fucking caffeine in your system you’d probably be dead anyway. But the truth is- Italians don’t hold their liquor well- and they are so pumped up anyway- with all the rioting that happens on a regular basis at those game… probably better not to feed em liquor anyway. Highlights include a mascot who looked more like a drowned sewer rat, a couple of big smoke bomb motherfuckers- some flares, and a fuck load of riot police. I was hoping for a big fuck all riot… but they didn’t deliver… fucking Italians.
CARAVAGGIO. Have decidedly fallen in love withthe bastard- and I love his life story… what a criminal he used to be! He used prostitutes and drunks as models for the Virgin Mary and shit… totally awesome- His art is all over the city- and I have made it my mission in the next few weeks to see it all. Project!
UNEMPLOYED BLISS. Do I really need to explain that?
FREE AND EASY. Bit of a play on the last one- but ahh the joys of discovering what can be done on a budget. And really- truth is, I am at my happiest when I am on my Vespa, driving madly, ipod blaring in search of some obscure church on the edge of town. Turns out- I’m pretty easy to please.
FUCKIN COLD. Sick of this ass fuck cold weather- it keeps threatening to be warm- but it almost always turns out to be cold and shit fuck rain crap. Blahhhhhhhh.
OTHER THAN THAT. All systems go. Shit is good- I am poor- happy, just chilling. If I can’t get a job, and therefore can’t stay- gonna make the most of this- see as much as I can, spend my days seeing shit, nights reading about it- checking out the whole pope situ… you know. Do what I can while I can. And the rest- will work itself out- or it wont. I feel pretty lax about the whole thing though.
You know. Fuck it.
Thursday, April 14, 2005
ONE GOOD THING
About being unemployed is I have plenty of time for creative ventures. I have been writing up a storm… which is so awesome. And I threw together another little video of the popes funeral. If your not sick of all the hype… (I’m sure you all didn’t get too much) check it out.
And that’s all I have to say.
And that’s all I have to say.
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
AMERICAN EX-PAT IN ROME
I’ve been here for 2 and a half months… feels like a lifetime. Still fell really funny and unsure about the future. Want to stay… can’t believe I really live here. Without a decent job- feel like I still don’t. In a world where everything is up in the air- I have one decision made. I have rented my apartment out in the states thru the fall- till thanksgiving-ish I think. So there’s that.
Been missing the states a lot in the past week. It was rainy and shitty for a few days there, and all I wanted to do was crawl into a movie theater and watch movies all day. Just wanted to show up unannounced at my parents house and see what was in the fridge, wanted to meet Carter and Nikky for happy hour in Venice, get Chinese with Damaris and watch bad TV.
The only movie in playing in English here is called “the Jacket” but it looks a little scary for my taste. I hate that I am too much of a pussy to handle scary movies. Such a problem… a whole genre of movies I can’t enjoy. Not fair. So I sat at home and watched movie trailers on the internet… pathetic, I know, but it worked. I watched like 40 fucking trailers, I’m not kidding. I just needed SOMETHING. You know?
Found a pair of sox today that I haven’t worn yet here. I know this because they are soft. Soft like laundry from back home- laundry at moms house, washed, softened, dried with dryer sheets. I almost don’t want to put them on. They are so delicious. And they are the last of the soft stuff. You can’t believe how stiff towels can be… like drying off with sandpaper really. We adjust though… we change.
They don’t sell zip lock bags here. I have about 8. I reuse them. I clean them out- let them dry and save them. I used to blow thru those fuckers. Funny how little things change in a foreign place.
I still so much feel like a foreigner. I straneri. (The strangers.) That’s what we are: us ex-pats. Here in Rome, looking for work, looking to escape whatever reality we all have at home. There is a very strange energy one attains when living in a foreign land: broader, more interested, the black sheep of all of our families, and yet- there is always this quiet numb silent hum- that constantly runs thru all of us… we are not at home. We are strangers in a strange land. No matter how long you live here, how fluent your Italian is… we remain ALWAYS I straneri.
The Italian youth is exceptionally hard to crack. Men befriend you because they want to fuck you, and the women just can’t be bothered to deal with you at all. Even in the slickest of LA clubs, I was never THIS invisible… The Italian culture is so odd. They are all such fuckin mama’s boys, and the girls are all so jealous and weird. It is totally commonplace here for a single guy to live with his mother until he is well into his 30s. Till, basically he finds a wife and moves downstairs from his mother- and now the wife will wait on him. It’s pretty archaic shit.
I think I thought the rules didn’t apply to me. Like I would be able to break thru all the other molds, all the traditions. What a crock of shit, I feel a little foolish. EVERYONE says it’s hard to get work- why then do I still believe these rules don’t apply to me? What is this hopeless optimism/ stupidity / irreverency… this hubris….
My family, aka “Team America” have been sending me packages. Thanks to them, I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich the other day… holy creamy delightful heavenly bliss. (And I don’t even like PB and J that much)… it was just SO GOOD. Ummm. But Carter- the little lamb that he is, tapes TV for me and sends it to me to watch on my computer. Last week I got 5 episodes of Lost, 3 episodes of the OC, and deadwood.
It’s really fun. And it is, the only time that silent numb of unfamiliatry lifts- only for an hour at a time. I have a really hard time watching the commercials, they freak me out- hearing about upcoming shows on Fox, or ABC or some fucking shit… it’s weird. And while I watch I am totally on my couch at home, Tivo remote in hand… absorbed. And then it’s over and I think- whoa… I’m still in Rome. I had forgotten for a minute.
It’s the strangest. And I can’t decide if it’s a good thing or not. When shoni came she brought a bunch of trashy mags- us, people…etc. and at first it was like- YES…. But after about 15 seconds- I just thought… who fucking cares, and I feel like my life is better without all this crap… there is a part of me that misses it, and another part of me that simply can’t be bothered- past it, over it, that is a part of my old life… But there is comfort in that garbage. And sometimes I miss it.
Cinnamon gum. That’s what I miss the most these days. Cinnamon gum. And mail. As always drier sheets- in fact just a drier. God dam cat hair… how I adore the lint tray… never knew my love for it till I didn’t have one.
Here life in Rome pushes on. I have gotten past the honeymoon stage, realized that on these travels- I brought myself… great.
Organizing a ladies night… have found some good bitches, and I’m gonna take em all out and have a good time. Seems like fun.
Looking for work under every rock. Just don’t want to settle- want so much out of life- I know there is an opportunity for me here… its why I came. Still looking for it- undeterred… but a little tired admittedly. But relentless. Like the eternal flame. If I want it bad enough it WILL emerge. IT WILL. I just have to keep repeating that….
Been missing the states a lot in the past week. It was rainy and shitty for a few days there, and all I wanted to do was crawl into a movie theater and watch movies all day. Just wanted to show up unannounced at my parents house and see what was in the fridge, wanted to meet Carter and Nikky for happy hour in Venice, get Chinese with Damaris and watch bad TV.
The only movie in playing in English here is called “the Jacket” but it looks a little scary for my taste. I hate that I am too much of a pussy to handle scary movies. Such a problem… a whole genre of movies I can’t enjoy. Not fair. So I sat at home and watched movie trailers on the internet… pathetic, I know, but it worked. I watched like 40 fucking trailers, I’m not kidding. I just needed SOMETHING. You know?
Found a pair of sox today that I haven’t worn yet here. I know this because they are soft. Soft like laundry from back home- laundry at moms house, washed, softened, dried with dryer sheets. I almost don’t want to put them on. They are so delicious. And they are the last of the soft stuff. You can’t believe how stiff towels can be… like drying off with sandpaper really. We adjust though… we change.
They don’t sell zip lock bags here. I have about 8. I reuse them. I clean them out- let them dry and save them. I used to blow thru those fuckers. Funny how little things change in a foreign place.
I still so much feel like a foreigner. I straneri. (The strangers.) That’s what we are: us ex-pats. Here in Rome, looking for work, looking to escape whatever reality we all have at home. There is a very strange energy one attains when living in a foreign land: broader, more interested, the black sheep of all of our families, and yet- there is always this quiet numb silent hum- that constantly runs thru all of us… we are not at home. We are strangers in a strange land. No matter how long you live here, how fluent your Italian is… we remain ALWAYS I straneri.
The Italian youth is exceptionally hard to crack. Men befriend you because they want to fuck you, and the women just can’t be bothered to deal with you at all. Even in the slickest of LA clubs, I was never THIS invisible… The Italian culture is so odd. They are all such fuckin mama’s boys, and the girls are all so jealous and weird. It is totally commonplace here for a single guy to live with his mother until he is well into his 30s. Till, basically he finds a wife and moves downstairs from his mother- and now the wife will wait on him. It’s pretty archaic shit.
I think I thought the rules didn’t apply to me. Like I would be able to break thru all the other molds, all the traditions. What a crock of shit, I feel a little foolish. EVERYONE says it’s hard to get work- why then do I still believe these rules don’t apply to me? What is this hopeless optimism/ stupidity / irreverency… this hubris….
My family, aka “Team America” have been sending me packages. Thanks to them, I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich the other day… holy creamy delightful heavenly bliss. (And I don’t even like PB and J that much)… it was just SO GOOD. Ummm. But Carter- the little lamb that he is, tapes TV for me and sends it to me to watch on my computer. Last week I got 5 episodes of Lost, 3 episodes of the OC, and deadwood.
It’s really fun. And it is, the only time that silent numb of unfamiliatry lifts- only for an hour at a time. I have a really hard time watching the commercials, they freak me out- hearing about upcoming shows on Fox, or ABC or some fucking shit… it’s weird. And while I watch I am totally on my couch at home, Tivo remote in hand… absorbed. And then it’s over and I think- whoa… I’m still in Rome. I had forgotten for a minute.
It’s the strangest. And I can’t decide if it’s a good thing or not. When shoni came she brought a bunch of trashy mags- us, people…etc. and at first it was like- YES…. But after about 15 seconds- I just thought… who fucking cares, and I feel like my life is better without all this crap… there is a part of me that misses it, and another part of me that simply can’t be bothered- past it, over it, that is a part of my old life… But there is comfort in that garbage. And sometimes I miss it.
Cinnamon gum. That’s what I miss the most these days. Cinnamon gum. And mail. As always drier sheets- in fact just a drier. God dam cat hair… how I adore the lint tray… never knew my love for it till I didn’t have one.
Here life in Rome pushes on. I have gotten past the honeymoon stage, realized that on these travels- I brought myself… great.
Organizing a ladies night… have found some good bitches, and I’m gonna take em all out and have a good time. Seems like fun.
Looking for work under every rock. Just don’t want to settle- want so much out of life- I know there is an opportunity for me here… its why I came. Still looking for it- undeterred… but a little tired admittedly. But relentless. Like the eternal flame. If I want it bad enough it WILL emerge. IT WILL. I just have to keep repeating that….
Monday, April 11, 2005
Sunday, April 10, 2005
I'M WORKING ON IT
So I have a ton of Amazing pictures of the funeral to post and I promise I am working on it- but I need another day of so…. We went to the funeral- and we were one of the thousands standing in the square…
But we have also gone out and done a bit of celebrating. Ok a lot of celebrating. Yesterday was one of those days where I kept the sunglasses on inside. Shoni and I have had the MOST AMAZING TIME.
Turns out it’s been a long time since I laughed that hard.
And I’ve been thinking a lot about that. I don’t really laugh here like I do at home- I guess it’s just a level of trust and comfort ability. Having Shoni here and being able to laugh and snort and freak-out and stomp my feet and fall over….
That kind of trust, love and friendship is a marvelous thing. I had it in such abundance in the states, and it is so sparse here.
Anyway- pictures are coming- Shoni leaves tomorrow (she got a new passport- just one hour at the American Embassy and viola…amazing)… and it’s been raining, so we have had a lot of huddled walks under my sagging shitty umbrella…
Fucking hilarious.
Pictures and more thoughts to come.
But we have also gone out and done a bit of celebrating. Ok a lot of celebrating. Yesterday was one of those days where I kept the sunglasses on inside. Shoni and I have had the MOST AMAZING TIME.
Turns out it’s been a long time since I laughed that hard.
And I’ve been thinking a lot about that. I don’t really laugh here like I do at home- I guess it’s just a level of trust and comfort ability. Having Shoni here and being able to laugh and snort and freak-out and stomp my feet and fall over….
That kind of trust, love and friendship is a marvelous thing. I had it in such abundance in the states, and it is so sparse here.
Anyway- pictures are coming- Shoni leaves tomorrow (she got a new passport- just one hour at the American Embassy and viola…amazing)… and it’s been raining, so we have had a lot of huddled walks under my sagging shitty umbrella…
Fucking hilarious.
Pictures and more thoughts to come.
Friday, April 08, 2005
JUST A QUICK CHECK IN
So holy fucking shit the pilgrims have arrived. Fucking hell man- the streets are lined with all kinds of fuckers- all dressed in the same outfits, carrying flags- wearing matching sox, hats, scarves… these people are out of their fucking minds.
There are so many people here- and absolutely no where to put them all- there are no more hotels, no more apartments, even the tents and temporary cots and shit are full… so people are sleeping on the streets, in sleeping bags, in the parks, propped up on benches… the Catholics have become the homeless… everyone loves Jesus and they are all here to prove it…
It’s overwhelming.
Tomorrow is the funeral and the whole city is going to be shut down to cars- they are going to be driving him thru the city in a glass coffin- we are planning to go down to gawk at the crowds and see what it’s all about.
My apologies I have no pictures to post… went down there with out my camera yesterday- amateur.
Shoni arrived today- so amazing to see her- it is her first time to Rome and I am having the most fun showing here around- waxing tour guide and showing off just how little Italian I speak.
Shoni, ever the adventurous one has already had her passport stolen- wasn’t in town 5 minutes when it was slipped right out of her back pocket- AWESOME. So our morning tomorrow will be spent at the Embassy seeing if the situation can’t be resolved- I spoke with the embassy today and they assured me not to worry- so we have decided to take their advise and have a night on the town… all things considered I think she is doing well- no passport, and no babies clinging to her side for the first time in 18 months… and she’s got a smile as big as the coliseum… what a fucking champ.
For me- tutti va bene. Will write more soon- and I promise to post more pics from the heart of the eternal city.
Till then, I remain eternally
Chase.
There are so many people here- and absolutely no where to put them all- there are no more hotels, no more apartments, even the tents and temporary cots and shit are full… so people are sleeping on the streets, in sleeping bags, in the parks, propped up on benches… the Catholics have become the homeless… everyone loves Jesus and they are all here to prove it…
It’s overwhelming.
Tomorrow is the funeral and the whole city is going to be shut down to cars- they are going to be driving him thru the city in a glass coffin- we are planning to go down to gawk at the crowds and see what it’s all about.
My apologies I have no pictures to post… went down there with out my camera yesterday- amateur.
Shoni arrived today- so amazing to see her- it is her first time to Rome and I am having the most fun showing here around- waxing tour guide and showing off just how little Italian I speak.
Shoni, ever the adventurous one has already had her passport stolen- wasn’t in town 5 minutes when it was slipped right out of her back pocket- AWESOME. So our morning tomorrow will be spent at the Embassy seeing if the situation can’t be resolved- I spoke with the embassy today and they assured me not to worry- so we have decided to take their advise and have a night on the town… all things considered I think she is doing well- no passport, and no babies clinging to her side for the first time in 18 months… and she’s got a smile as big as the coliseum… what a fucking champ.
For me- tutti va bene. Will write more soon- and I promise to post more pics from the heart of the eternal city.
Till then, I remain eternally
Chase.
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