SHOPPING

I love shopping. Damaris, my newly appointed “stylist” took me shopping a few weeks ago and we bought me some much needed new clothes, and it was AWESOME. Then this week we took my cutie pants boyfriend and bought him (and I’m not kidding here) and entire new wardrobe. A suit, shirts, ties, jeans, button ups, fucking- a, even pajamas.

And I gotta say, my man looks good.

I love shopping with Damaris. In fact I love doing just about anything with that girl. Shopping ,movies, working, driving a car, watching TV. She’s just a good girl. The best part about shopping with D is she has good taste, and she knows what is allowed.

That’s the thing about shopping and clothes that I always hated- it’s that it seems like there are all these rules to clothing.

“Oh god you can’t wear that with that…”
“good lord look at her!”

…and I just, don’t know them. Lord knows my mother tried…but she will be the first to tell you I never got it. Dead of winter in Colorado and I am heading out the door in shorts. (now that sounds like common sense) but seriously. I just never got it. Combine that with the fact that I am not your average boutique size, and I just kinda give up.

T-shirts and jeans- that’s where I’ve lived. For years. I look like my father. (god my poor mother). I mean, m mom went to fashion school for god sakes!

Anyway. It wall started with the jeans. Girls jeans don’t fit- well, not if your like me and have a bit of the “junk in the trunk” as it were- so I go to men’s stores. Levi’s, wranglers… whatever. For years damaris has been saying “those jeans don’t fit- you look like you have a terd in your pants”. And I would say- “I can’t wear girls jeans,” and she would sigh and quietly roll her eyes.

And then the other day I called her and said. “ok D. Lets go buys some jeans” The next thing I know I’m at the register with my credit card in hand, at barneys, saying “shit I’m unemployed, but spending this much money in an afternoon is FUN! And it was.

But I will say this, my junk in the trunk is looking a lot more like budunk-budunk.