IT'S BEEN A WHILE

since I've blogged. I've been kinda nuts. Something about America that keeps me so fucking busy.

I sold my car, I sublet my apartment (furnished) starting Jan 1st for 5 months. I got rid of 90% of my clothes, I've been selling cds, I sold my art dept kit... I turned 29, and organized a fundraiser at the Santa Monica Museum of Art. And Alejandro came to the states to which I've been playing serious hostess. All in all it’s been a big few weeks.

Having Alejandro here has been really fun, hard but fun. We have fought a few times... (this is where the Sound of Music song "getting to know you" comes in....) I am so out of practice of being a girlfriend its ridiculous... but we are stumbling our way through.

It has been SO much fun to rediscover Los Angeles. I made a list of the things I haven't done while I've lived here for the past 8 years and I have been starting to do them all. What fun. I went to the opera, and I snuck him onto the Universal lot, and gave him the Chase Carter tour, and we took a double Decker bus ride thru Hollywood (so much fun) and god knows how long it had been since I stood in front of the Chinese Mann and put my hands in the cement... we drove up the coast, we are going to LACMA today, and to a clipper game tomorrow.

It's been kinda jam packed but a lot of fun. And I am remembering how much fun I've had living in this town for the last 8 years.


I have been so looking forward to leaving and moving on I haven't even really stopped to think about all the shit I am leaving behind. Which is mostly just friends. But damn- it's hard to believe this chapter of my life is closing. I have the most amazing friends, and they are such a good support system, and such wonderful, kind, fun, like-minded people.

My brother and nikky threw me a birthday party last Sunday after noon. Very easy- just about 15- 20 people, pizza beer, that’s it. No big deal.

And do you know what those mother fuckers did for me? They all pitched in and raised over $1000 for me to buy a vespa when I get to Italy. Can you fucking believe that? Do you have any idea what it is like to look at $1000 in 20's, 10's, 5's and ones?

It was awesome. Anyway, they also wrote these notes to me about riding off into the sunset, and going to miss me and all of that kind of stuff, an it made me cry. For the first time since I decided to go, I realized that I am going to leave my people. My family, my peeps. I live and die by these people. How am I going to survive without them? I mean Jesus! The thought is almost unbearable.

There are so many of us in LA- anytime I ant to have just my closest friends it’s still like 20 people. Because that’s how big it is out here. and we've all known each other all out lives... and I am leaving that.

Because I have to , it really isn’t a choice. it's just sad. and hard, and scary.

But totally totally right.