HAPPY DAYS

Whoa. What a couple of week. I swear I feel like life couldn’t get any better.

I sometimes wonder why I get to be so lucky. Why me? How is it possible? Not a day has passed in literally months when I don’t pause and realize, I FEEL HAPPY.

Really Really happy.

It’s magnificent. Everything I ever wanted, I have, I need for nothing. I am so blessed with friends and it feels so good.

Being back in the States has been pretty wild.

The wedding was a blast. I mean, top 5 weddings of my life, really fun, really rowdy, really crazy. The ceremony was beautiful… just about every relative I have came up to me afterwards and told me it was lovely, and wanted to know if I had a parish or what. HA!

The late night crowd was in full effect. I will say only this. I have trashed some hotel rooms in my life, but this one takes the cake. It was a proud moment for derelicts everywhere.

The day after the wedding was one of the best days of my life. Me and my family, and the rowdy kids from the night before, my grandpa and his brothers family all in my Aunt’s backyard lighting fireworks in the daytime, eating pizza, hanging out, laughing- god the laughing… haven’t laughed that hard since the last time I was around the people I loved the most in the world… felt so good.

Then I went to the Cape. 5 days in a gorgeous house on the beach with my mom, my aunt, Nikki and Damaris. Holy fucking great. We went to the beach, we did jig saw puzzles (including the hardest one Nikky or I have ever bothered to complete.,) we read, and ate Lobster, we played mini golf… it was amazing. Then my dad and Uncle showed up… It was just SO FUCKING GOOD.

And all the while New Orleans continued to drown.

There is nowhere like the states to make me feel so entirely, whatever this feeling is. Guilty, ashamed, confused, HELPLESS? Man I hate this government.

Being here, I’ve been thinking a lot about coming home for the next year.

I think I am going to be in LA for the winter (YIKES) to work for the man and make some money, and then be in Colorado next spring and summer and maybe even NYC next fall? I don’t know. But I want to be with my god sons more than anything else in the world, and I ache for the country… so I think I am going to give myself the gift of the babies in Colorado next spring. Me, mud-pies and mountains. Happy Days.

But I have to say I have serious reservations about being a part of this country again. I mean, part of me has never left, but do I really want to be paying taxes to a president who makes his vacation in the middle of a war a priority over the single greatest natural disaster in this country’s history? I’m just not sure that’s a corporation I want to support…

I’ve loved being so far away. But I miss my real friends. Being around Damaris is like remembering how to breathe again. I’m just better when she’s around. I miss that, you know?

Anyway. To quote Lloyd Dobbler I “Can’t figure it all out right now sir. Just kinda hanging with your daughter.”

But for now I am in NYC. Been staying with Vicki, spent a wonderful afternoon with Brent yesterday, went to Justin Dragonas’s birthday party, saw a real movie IN A THEATER… New York is fun.

I love this town. And I kinda wanna come here for a few months so I can see my friends for more than just an afternoon a lunch or a drink. It would be nice to actually spend some time with these people. (to have time to see my most secret loyal reader, you know who you are…)

I don’t know.

I do think my new career is to be around the people I love as much as possible. It may not be the most financially responsible thing I have ever done, but at least I’ll be happy.

And man, right now I am. I am just so fucking happy.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. But, what a lucky girl I am…