SPEAKERS, RAINY DAYS AND DOUBLE DIGITS

Oh it’s October. We have arrived in 2005’s double digits…. It’s fall. I mean it’s totally fall: Rain, grey skies, sweaters, jackets, scarves. It’s fucking wild.

This may not seem like much to you- but this is the first evidence of the change in season I’ve experienced in almost 10 years. IT’S SO FUCKING COOL. I mean, quite simply I had forgotten how cool mother nature is. Not that I am really in her arms- I’ve been surrounded by concrete for going on two decades… but seasons. How awesome they are- how much more aware I am that life is happening, that I am here, that THIS IS IT, all because it’s fall. Another reason to be grateful for life’s little miracles.

A second reason to be grateful is for a little guy I like to call dad.

My father changed my life, and he doesn’t even know it.

Since I arrived here in Feb- my only source of music has been my computer, and my ipod. And that’s it…. I mean sure Italian Top 40 streamed in over the grocery store or whatever… but as I’m sure most of you know the speakers coming out of a computer is like listening to your favorite song from the speakers in an elevator.

It sucks. It’s too quiet, it sounds like shit, it’s just so frustrating…. It’s like a musician’s worst nightmare… seriously.

Now, when I arrived here originally I bought two speakers which exploded and died the first day I plugged them in. Right... 220, 110. Lesson learned. And back in Feb I was still reveling in the release of all things materialistic… I was thrilled to be free of all my crap, and so a life without speakers was one I was willing to live…. I even embraced it. I was thrilled to be without them (almost).

But all these little sacrifices, no TV, no speakers, no dryer, no closet… these things grow heavy after a while, and we remember WHY we have them in our life in the first place… because, simply, they make life better, easier. Better, in small little ways, that I had all but forgotten. I mean- living in my sweet apt, with all that STUFF. Fuck man, I had not one, but 3 closets. 3!!!! and they were fucking huge. Hell I had 3 closets AND 2 garages. Jesus.

And now, after nearly in year, I have finally learned how to appreciate that again.

So now your like, “ok, I get it, she’s happy again… appreciating her luck, her life,“ yawn… “I mean Jesus, Chase we get it your lucky, what in the sam hell does this have to do with your father” you ask- right.

When I was in Cape Cod my father gave me a small but fantastically efficient pair of Sony speakers for my computer. I was thrilled (not about the extra weight in the suitcase, but for the potential of being able to ROCK THE FUCK OUT… you know- turn the music up and jam out like it’s the last night of your life… (god I live for that).

Anyway- I got back a few weeks ago and realized after carrying these fuckers 3000 miles- they are 110 and not 220 capable.

SO I was resigned to accept my fate as an only partial rocker these days. I had made it this far. BUT THEN, yesterday I realized, remembered, whatevered, the speakers take BATTERY.

I cannot explain. I really can’t. Otis Redding’s “I’ve been loving you too long” at top volume- windows open- music filling my room, cascading onto the street below for even the hookers to enjoy….

Total bliss.

Over speakers. Bliss over sound, music, projection. This coming from a girl who had speakers wired into every room of her last apartment. Seriously….

And so- the rainfalls, the air chills, the music plays, and I realize how luck I am to have relearned what it means, to appreciate.

Thanks dad.