BACK IN BLACK

Holy shit I live in America again.

It’s kinda hard to know where to begin. I guess where I left off.

SAYING GOODBYE:
I only cried twice. Once when I sold my Vespa. I don’t know… Luigi was so good to me- he was my man, we never crashed, he never broke down on me, he was such a pal and he was so so baby blue. I actually cried. Then I cried the next morning when I put the cats in the elevator with some strange Italian man who shuttled them away and I freaked out. Luckily I took drugs and calmed down. Thank god for drugs.
TRAVELING
Flying for that long blows. Period. 10 hour flights just sucks. I mean, I doped up when I dropped the cats off, and that made me sleep for a while. But 10 hours. You wake up, you know? Luckily I had no one sitting next to me on either leg… so that was kinda sweet.
NEW JERSEY
Spent the night in Jersey at Aunt Lois’s house. TJ, Joe, Lois and Bryan. Love them. The real highlight was Emily and her amazingly beautiful daughter Sabine, came out for dinner and had a visit. That was pretty great. She looks amazing… and that little girl- holy shit. Gorgeous. The cats were fucking fine there… I mean like “what up we’re worldly cats… gimme a new house I don’t EVEN care.” It was bizarre.
ARRIVING
I was tired… obviously. In fact everyone was. The family was working so we ordered take out and kinda just starred at each other. I woke up at like 6 am on sat morning and thought fuck it and so I unpacked. Got mostly settled, made a run to my storage. Tried to take a nap- totally didn’t. I was feeling pretty fucking weird.
CULTURE SHOCK IN SAV-ON
I don’t think I’ve ever had culture shock before. Not like, real culture shock. But I pretty much lost my mind in Sav-on. It was the tomato soup. I’ve been craving tomato soup with a white bread and Velveeta grilled cheese sandwich for fucking ages… (gross I know, but you miss the strangest things when your gone for long enough) and there it was- right there- in Sav-on… in the food aisle. And there was just everything- food, detergent, stockings, cotton balls, convenience, check lines… it was all of it, AMERICA right fucking at my finger tips… it was so intense… I never felt like that before. Shortly there after I totally lost it and cried my eyes out for as long as I could..
THE PARTY
There wasn’t much time for crying or shock because in about 2 hours I was to arrive at a party for my 30th birthday that Carter threw me with about 300 people. It was truly awesome. I mean, it was just so much fun. It was strange at first, so I started in on the champagne. I got pretty drunk. Which is not surprising considering the amount I drank over the 8 hours in which I was at the party drinking- and considering the jet lag and the shock and exhaustion… actually I think I did pretty good. Except that I don’t remember anything- as I look back now- the entire thing was such a blur I basically can’t remember a second of it. I mean- sure I remember it… but not really- not really at all. (in fact I seem to remember the drunk bits clearer than the NOT DRUNK BITS…) It’s so weird. One thing I absolutely remember is that at about 4:30 in the morning a gorilla suit appeared and I put that fucker on and rode a bicycle a full lap around the book store. It was a definite highlight. Seriously- it was so much.. I had a fucking blast. But I was in such culture shock at that time it’s all like a dream to me now.
VICKI
There’s a reason she’s my best friend. She flew all the way out from NYC for my party. What a girl.
THE JOB
SO then I started working today. 12 days. In a row. Oh my god. Here we go. (we’re building a house so we can blow it up…it’s gonna be awesome but what a waste- fucking Hollywood)
INCOGNITO
And then there is the whole reason I came home early- an art show I am coordinating. I need 50 volunteers by Saturday night. I have 35. Fuck man. This is all a lot.


I have this theory that we don’t bite off more than we can chew… like we can always pull shit off if we make ourselves. But I just… I just don’t think I want to anymore.

I’m not as good as multi tasking. Or maybe I’ll get better at it… but I had to hang up with Damaris tonight because it was quite simply too hard for me to talk on the phone and work at the same time… that’s like, pathetic for me.

So even though I may be back on the playground… it might take a minute to be in full swing again. But luckily I got plenty of people around to give me a push…