I’ve been having some decidedly fucked up dreams. Total anxiety morning madness- good fuck. Dreamt I had a fight with my parents last night cuz they took me to a football game, and I was “bugging out” (that was the phrase I used in the dream…) and ther was a wave machinge that used real water…(in the dream that was impressive) and I wanted to leave because I fell in love with an old friend (which made me wake up with the creeps), but I was pissed because my mom tricked me into going to the game, and I needed her car to leave… oh man- just weird shit that are all obvious to read into and I feel silly for having them… it’s like JEEEE-SUS.
I went shopping (this is not a dream) for my birthday breakfast today- salmon, capers, cream cheese and the closest thing I could get to a bagel. It’s totally NOT a bagel, but I’m real good with my imagination- and I have a real fancy bottle of champagne- so I plan to bring in 30 with a little treat for myself. Then I am going to lunch with the girls. And then I think I’m gonna get a tattoo. (I feel so naughty about that… tee-hee).
All my friends are really loving on me right now- it’s kinda overwhelming. For the first 6 months I could hardly get them to open up- and then, like when you try and try to open a jar and it suddenly gives- so too did they with their friendship. And for the last 6 months I have been forging some really important wonderful friendships. But the shit that’s gone down in the last week- saying goodbye when it feels so fucking premature- we all just fell in love! And now it’s later days to the Yank. Anyway- they have a few pints and its “we love chase” time. It’s kinda intense. Nice and sweet, and feels really good (even though inside I am laughing aloud at them all.. cuz their such saps…) but still it’s kinda heavy.
Turning thirty tomorrow. Wow.
That’s so fucking awesome I can’t even deal. Dirty Thirty.
Thirty is a full fledged grown up. I’m like a big kid now. That’s so wild.
I’m a grown up and it’s fucking cold today. Oh yea, and did I mention that I am grown up without HEAT IN MY APT. Wow does this suck. I’ve never not had my heat work in my life. Lemme tell you it really sucks. It’s so cold in here… ahhh. All I can do is laugh at the absurdity of this country. I called my land lord a MONTH ago about the heat. Don’t know why I should be surprised it’s still not fixed, and now it’s like, fuck it, it’s just a week + I can make it. But fuck it sucks. Sincerely.
Anyway- in the words of my favorite red head, “You need 4 inches of bod and a great birthday”
2 comments:
Hey Chase! Happy 30th
Its funny I know.. You probably wouldn't remember me at all. I spent one year at CRMS, but when I was looking for information last year on Rome and travelling I amazingly found your website. I remember thinking... I know that name.. and then it hit me. You were in grade nine and I was in grade 11, but I remember that should I say "joie de vivre" that you had and the fact that I believe you knew yourself better then anyone I ever knew. Its funny because now I live here in LA and I have only been here a year but I appreciate your comments about the city. There is nothing better then a city who truly makes you know about yourself and wants you to get away!
All I can say is that I truly wish you the happiest of 30th birthdays! For a girl who I remember so much with so much spunk, and determination you have most certainly shown to be the most inovative in terms of what they have acomplished. So fun to actually see what you are up too! Big cheers for your 30th and all the best!!
is it too much to have a name???
so strange that you found me and now your reading....
I feel silly- but who are you?
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