IRONY

I’ve never been much for it. Irony always seemed to me a perspective that had gotten self righteous with itself and somehow thought it was better than it was.

That being said… this shit is ironic.

I don’t own a lighter.

More to the point I am not in possession of a lighter at this time.

Now the reason this is even remotely ironic is that in la in a garage in Santa Monica I have about maybe 5 or 6 hundred lighters sitting in a jar in a box on a shelf. I started collecting lighters when I was 19 when I lived in Holland for a semester. I figured they were the perfect token to collect while traveling. Useful, memorable, perfect. Then on a trip across the US I made a point (sometimes to Mimi and Damaris’s annoyance) to buy a lighter in EVERY STATE WE PASSED. So thru those and other trips I’ve amassed an impressive collection. They are stored in two Jars. One for those that work, and those that no longer posses their inner spark.

I always have a lighter. Usually about 8 on my person at any given time. I always have a lighter.

And right now I don’t. How is that possible? Amazing.


As I packed, I picked 10 or 12 favorites to bring with me. I tossed them in my luggage I put two in my purse and I was off. When I arrived, I found in lu of my lighters a note that read “Dept of United States blah blah blah.. because of blah blah blah…we have taken you lighters…this was necessary because of blah blah blah thank you very much. And thanks again for flying the friendly skies.”

Terrific. I was using the two I had in my purse, but they have disappeared into the vortex that is the “other peoples pockets of Rome.”

And so. I have no lighter, just one pack of matches from Jimmy’s bar in Aspen, that has survived with me for who knows why…and it has just 3 matches left.

OK- so it’s not like it’s hard to obtain lighters or matches… seems like I always have tons. It’s just so odd that at this moment I have none. Ironic. Perhaps. Or maybe just a circumstance that I think is better or somehow more important than it really is.