NEW MEMORIES

I had been thinking a lot before I left LA- about how I had covered almost the entire city with memories... "oh I shot in that building, that's where we had lunch the day we founded Chick Pee Productions, I remember I was on the phone with Sarah when my phone went dead there, that's the good photo place, remember the time the truck went dead right here?..." Just full. Chock a block full.

And now, in this new city I have so few. I am making them. "That is the spot Alejandro and I first kissed. That's good pizza," (but I know it's not the best... haven't found that yet), and then I'm out- it's like "ooh, I wanna try that bar"... mostly I just wander around looking, seeing, exploring with my eyes.

Not speaking italian is like being in candy store with no money. It's cruel. And by that I mean this- I know I can go out and get a job so I can buy the shit in the store and play with all the kids- but getting a job is so hard and is going to take so long to find and even once I get a job- to be able to save up enough to spend!!! OK enough with the metaphor- but sincerely, it's a lot harder than I thought. Practicing on my own isn't EVEN gonna cut it. I need lessons, and badly. I just found about a good place yesterday- just been too fucking sick to deal with it. I would like very much to like classes soon. Because as I learn I think it'll start to be fun.

So many questions I want to ask... for example I was in the grocery store today buying laundry detergent. Good lord. How to tell the difference between bleach, softener, and actual soap? This is one of the few markets American products have not penetrated, so going with the familiar name brand isn't applicable here. And I guess I could open up and smell (a test that had proved to work for body soap)... but only IF I COULD ASK!!!! Just you know... the basics. Which I just don't have. And every time I try, I open my mouth and Spanish comes out. Fuck it's stupid. At the same time today I explained at the hardware store that I needed an adapter for my surge protector. And he understood, and even modified the little bugger for me.

So I CAN communicate. Just, you know, NOT EASILY. But it does make things interesting.- You know how when your broke you always think... "if I had money I would do this and this and this" and then you have money and all of the sudden all the good ideas are gone. Well THAT'S how I feel. If I could speak Italian I would talk to the man at the hardware store, and the grocer, and EVERYONE. Just to prove I can. At this point I'm afraid to speak- If I start a conversation they might want me to continue talking, a task, which right now I am incapable of fulfilling.

I spoke with a woman today that ACTUALLY WORKS at Cinecitta (the film studio here) she is a friend of Bruce's and she called me after I emailed her two weeks ago. She wanted to meet, but then canceled at the last minute. She is working right now- which is a great sign. I don't know if she can get me work, actually I think she might be under the impression that I can hire her... but we will see. Everyone else I've met is TRYING to work, she is ACTUALLY working. Which is an excellent thing. keeping my fingers crossed. (although at this point I have to say, what can I offer as a shopper? I don't know the city or where anything is, and I don't speak italian... how much can I really help?) But I remain optimistic. Cuz if I tune in and listen to what everyone is telling me I'd be fucked.

I woke up this morning feeling loads better. I think my cold finally broke! That was a rough one all right.

What else, I don't know. Everything is good. You know. I really live here. And I feel like I do too. It's cool. Lot's still hanging in the balance though... will I stay, can I get a good job, what to do with the place in LA... all these things. Can't think about all that just yet. First things first. Learn Italian!!!!!!

Gotta learn. Cuz I got candy to buy.