UNTITLED

The steady calmness of nothing much to do most of time is returning to me. It took a few days, much shorter than last time. It comes on slow, and then it is as if I, just, sort of, tumble… into a sort of self induced laziness. I am not fighting it this time. When I first arrived all those months ago- this life style seemed frivolous and indulgent. Now I understand it is crucial to living a long life. After a few hard months of beating the worker bee mentality out of me, I have come to view these mornings of rest and reading and writing as a delicious treat, that should be savored and enjoyed.

I suppose somewhere deep down I still feel as though all of this is merely an indulgence, a calm before the proverbial storm. My whole life I was taught that there was some importance, even a responsibility to live up to ambition, desire, success. Here in this sleepy Italian city, the world rushes around me and I feel calm, still like a pin standing on end- perfectly balanced. But precarious none the less. Like the slightest pull of temptation- tales of spoils, riches, exotic nights- they could pull me back down to a busy life…

Here I am living the good life, one I have neither earned nor deserve. Still with debt, and running on a financial reserve that doesn’t exist I am seeing how long I can make this odyssey last. Fueled by lazy mornings and hot sticky afternoons in some silly feng-shued office in a fancy part of town talking about movies and waxing knowledgeable. These days are precious. These days are few.

But they are here, and so am I.